Friday, 11th January 2019

When I first started writing songs as William Nein 'Myspace' was the main occupier of space on my internet. And I think back and I always used to write and record a song as quick as possible to get my song 'out there' into the world.
And I look at myself now and I realise it's all been the same thing. There's always been the need for instant gratification, to say 'this is my work, I wonder if it's any good, will you tell me?'
And of course the internet has gotten faster. Funnily enough not in music terms which is what I wanted, but in phrases and words and photos. Still needing the quickest route for people to say 'That is good'.
I know shows like Black Mirror have covered our needs of these for a long time, but I wonder how much impact it's had on art itself.
How many people can write something or paint something without that validation?
All artists used to paint into a black hole, you would work painstakingly on a piece to maybe one day have a few people see or hear it. Would work so hard to make it mean everything to you and for it to mean something to others, but now it's just another throwaway.
This is not a criticism of the times it's more an intrigue.
Is there any way of doing it without that need? Or is that need now so inherent that fighting against it is just fighting a losing battle against the tide of now?

It's an interesting predicament. I know that I fall into the trap and want the same things as others, even though I know that really the only judge of your own artwork is you yourself. We should be aiming to make the best piece that we can possibly make. But I am lazy.
Is all I want the validation? Then that doesn't make me an artist.
Or is it that I am an artist fighting against the need for validation whilst also doing it?
Is this a choice?
History shows us that we all live within a certain timeframe. Who knows what they will say about ours, but I doubt it will bring much light. I feel like these are our current dark ages. People focusing all energy on arguing with one another without any focus. Contradictions of people saying they are trying to save the planet but also not really thinking about how much they are an asshole.

They are not troubled times as yet, they are intriguing times, one where I don't think anyone knows any answers and most are looking for a strong leader but can't find one that is really good enough.

Art was always meant to show that way, but I feel I am failing as an artist because I am also just wanting to be part of the crowd. I want people to like my work whether musical or image based, even if this is against my core belief.

But I can't purely rebel just because I don't agree with it, because part of me also wants to be included. I'm not sure if this makes me less of an artist or just one that isn't so stubborn it can't see it's own self.

Art has become very confused over the past 20 years. I don't think it knows where it is or what it is or what it represents.

To art I would say 'It's ok, you're just growing, and you may get confused over this period of time but you will find your way someday'.

I guess that's what I tell myself