Saturday 26 December 2015
Saturday, 26th December 2015
A few weeks ago I found an electric typewriter on the rubbish bins outside my house. I love typewriters, freer than computers, cleaner and neater than handwriting, my ideal place. My old one had been decommissioned from service and so I was very pleased to have found yet another one lying about waiting for me to find it. I replaced the ribbon and voila. New nonsense.
A few weeks ago I found an electric typewriter on the rubbish bins outside my house. I love typewriters, freer than computers, cleaner and neater than handwriting, my ideal place. My old one had been decommissioned from service and so I was very pleased to have found yet another one lying about waiting for me to find it. I replaced the ribbon and voila. New nonsense.
Monday 21 December 2015
Monday, 21 Decmember 2015
What would God say if itself were here now?
It would say:
"Sorry for my imagination"
(For they are not short.)
I cry
I hurt myself
I kill myself
I hear you
I am listening
But imagine the worst thing you could ever imagine
I have imagined worse
And imagine yourself telling yourself to not think of those horrible things
Well I have both told myself that and yet been unable to listen to the voice of myself telling myself not to think of those things that I have already thought
Imagine your imagination being the imagination of God and then you would be closer to hearing the voice of God
But do you really want to hear it?
I am sorry
What would God say if itself were here now?
It would say:
"Sorry for my imagination"
(For they are not short.)
I cry
I hurt myself
I kill myself
I hear you
I am listening
But imagine the worst thing you could ever imagine
I have imagined worse
And imagine yourself telling yourself to not think of those horrible things
Well I have both told myself that and yet been unable to listen to the voice of myself telling myself not to think of those things that I have already thought
Imagine your imagination being the imagination of God and then you would be closer to hearing the voice of God
But do you really want to hear it?
I am sorry
Monday, 21st December 2015
Time
Time adds the dimension of "Oh crap, I have to get ready for work. Like, now!" (which is what I am currently feeling). Or "Time seems to go on forever" (Which it does). Or "Oh, just give it time" (Which we usually do, unless of course...) "NOW! NOW IS THE TIME! I MUST DO THIS PROBABLY REGRETTABLE THING RIGHT NOW!"
Time
Time adds the dimension of "Oh crap, I have to get ready for work. Like, now!" (which is what I am currently feeling). Or "Time seems to go on forever" (Which it does). Or "Oh, just give it time" (Which we usually do, unless of course...) "NOW! NOW IS THE TIME! I MUST DO THIS PROBABLY REGRETTABLE THING RIGHT NOW!"
Monday, 21st December 2015
Just one more - how people are like plants, how the branching of our self is a more complex state of the same branching system. We will have 'just one more' of the destructive element because it brings us some sort of gratification and pleasure whilst simultaneously travelling an outwards path of knowledge and wisdom, but also retardation and lack of motor skills. These veins of being dance in and out of one another, our body being the vessel between. We react to chemistry and psychology in much the same way that plants do. Feed us well and we will grow, talk to us and we will react. Whether positive or negative we will react.
You always need a thread - how it is the thread that keeps us tied to this reality, how without it we would just float off into space and never come back down. and so...
We are all chemists - how we are trying to get the balance right, how all things affect us, no matter how real or unreal they may be, psychologically and physically we are we are just petri-dishes in a lab somewhere with ourselves doing the experiment. "How much light shall I give this one?" "In what way should I speak to this one?" "What if I add this substance to the mix?"
And then out of nowhere a face adds:
"Inspiration?"
True geniuses are very good chemists
Just one more - how people are like plants, how the branching of our self is a more complex state of the same branching system. We will have 'just one more' of the destructive element because it brings us some sort of gratification and pleasure whilst simultaneously travelling an outwards path of knowledge and wisdom, but also retardation and lack of motor skills. These veins of being dance in and out of one another, our body being the vessel between. We react to chemistry and psychology in much the same way that plants do. Feed us well and we will grow, talk to us and we will react. Whether positive or negative we will react.
You always need a thread - how it is the thread that keeps us tied to this reality, how without it we would just float off into space and never come back down. and so...
We are all chemists - how we are trying to get the balance right, how all things affect us, no matter how real or unreal they may be, psychologically and physically we are we are just petri-dishes in a lab somewhere with ourselves doing the experiment. "How much light shall I give this one?" "In what way should I speak to this one?" "What if I add this substance to the mix?"
And then out of nowhere a face adds:
"Inspiration?"
True geniuses are very good chemists
Sunday 13 December 2015
Sunday, 13th December 2015
This blog. Feels odd to be characterised on your past and not on your future or future aims, but here it is anyway see. Parts of me, some long-gone, some forgotten, and some still standing. And some all three. I'm not sure when I will feel as if I have anything more to say and who it is I would be talking to, I'm tying much harder to be a real physical person living in the real physical world see after living within my own world of creation for long enough it seems. I still like that world, it is comforting and can be a fun little playground for ideas and thoughts and creativity, and when people come and join me in it I enjoy it very much, but even saying these words gives me a slight feeling of unease, as if I really were 'the needy one', the child left alone in the corner, or picked last for the football squad. Feelings I would rather move on from, I don't want to be an emo anymore and this site ties me to all that's been before: the fantasies and myths and self-indulgence. But who knows, even though it is digital and would disappear at the push of a digital button dropping a digital bomb, maybe this is how people would know us in the future. One lonely soul finding another through their own words much like we have done in the past with books. Words are not always for the author but for the reader, and I've written enough songs to realise that some people like some things and some people don't, and that even if only one person is touched or comforted by the person you are then it is worth sharing. I have met and known some of my dearest friends through their sharing of words on computer screens.
So regardless of how I feel about this site, whether it is not a true representation of me still travelling on my journey, it is and was still relevant to the person I am today
This blog. Feels odd to be characterised on your past and not on your future or future aims, but here it is anyway see. Parts of me, some long-gone, some forgotten, and some still standing. And some all three. I'm not sure when I will feel as if I have anything more to say and who it is I would be talking to, I'm tying much harder to be a real physical person living in the real physical world see after living within my own world of creation for long enough it seems. I still like that world, it is comforting and can be a fun little playground for ideas and thoughts and creativity, and when people come and join me in it I enjoy it very much, but even saying these words gives me a slight feeling of unease, as if I really were 'the needy one', the child left alone in the corner, or picked last for the football squad. Feelings I would rather move on from, I don't want to be an emo anymore and this site ties me to all that's been before: the fantasies and myths and self-indulgence. But who knows, even though it is digital and would disappear at the push of a digital button dropping a digital bomb, maybe this is how people would know us in the future. One lonely soul finding another through their own words much like we have done in the past with books. Words are not always for the author but for the reader, and I've written enough songs to realise that some people like some things and some people don't, and that even if only one person is touched or comforted by the person you are then it is worth sharing. I have met and known some of my dearest friends through their sharing of words on computer screens.
So regardless of how I feel about this site, whether it is not a true representation of me still travelling on my journey, it is and was still relevant to the person I am today
Friday 4 December 2015
Friday 4th December 2015
Some people see kindness as a poison. It's not necessarily their fault, in a world full of hateful beings who often want to accumulate gain and take power from others it is understandable. Maybe they have had these people take from them, maybe their parents weren't the ideal vessels for happiness or to pass on the idea that cruelty could be avoided. Maybe they can be so crushed by the weight that they carry that they see kindness as a weakness, simply unable to comprehend that there could be better in this world than being fucked over and taken advantage of.
The world often makes me sad because I understand this but also would love to show them that more actually does exist. That not everyone is only out for their own gain, that some people actually do have hearts that would like to share heavy burdens, however alien and unimaginable that may seem.
It is rare and should be cherished, not simply thrown away like many others they may have come across.
Some people don't want to fight forever in circles just to release a perceived need to drill holes into minds to ease the pressure.
Some people are capable of love even when they are being torn apart
Some people see kindness as a poison. It's not necessarily their fault, in a world full of hateful beings who often want to accumulate gain and take power from others it is understandable. Maybe they have had these people take from them, maybe their parents weren't the ideal vessels for happiness or to pass on the idea that cruelty could be avoided. Maybe they can be so crushed by the weight that they carry that they see kindness as a weakness, simply unable to comprehend that there could be better in this world than being fucked over and taken advantage of.
The world often makes me sad because I understand this but also would love to show them that more actually does exist. That not everyone is only out for their own gain, that some people actually do have hearts that would like to share heavy burdens, however alien and unimaginable that may seem.
It is rare and should be cherished, not simply thrown away like many others they may have come across.
Some people don't want to fight forever in circles just to release a perceived need to drill holes into minds to ease the pressure.
Some people are capable of love even when they are being torn apart
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