Tuesday, 25th July 2017

I'm looking to move again. its taken about 5 years of living prison-like in a room with 3 walls, a bed made of wooden planks and sofa bed mattress, no window but a skylight, feeling so trapped that the only way to survive is to sleep or get drunk, to push down the claustrophobic feeling and breaking nerves.
I've done very well all considering, and there have been times when I've considered moving and could have but never felt comfortable with the increase in rent versus life in London. Recently however I've been looking at moving to another part of England, places where for the same price of a room in a house share living with two or three strangers I may not even like, I could get a two bedroom house, and begin to really make a home of it. Places where I could walk to work instead of travelling for 3 hours a day, places that have cycle lanes through areas of natural beauty so I could finally be more active like I've wanted for so long. The downside of course will be the lack of similar minded individuals, the predicted loneliness of not having my friends around.

Tuesday, 18th July 2017

Life is not so much a circle but a conical spiral staircase
A sadly comical sort of gradual incline up a pyramid
The first few cycles are the longest, the most intriguing and often terrifying, though with honesty and naive belief in your direction
Then it starts again
Certain things seem similar though still unknown, a soft sense of deja vu, a love story, a heartbreak, struggles and disappointments, hope and adventure
And again it goes round
But this time you can see a certain pattern underneath your feet, if you look down you can see where youve already walked and you begin to see the structure of it, the struggles of hope and disappointments of adventure
But now you know you are also climbing something and that with every step forward you are also writing your past, a future point to look upon from above
There's no need to look backwards but to look below sometimes, and also above to the fog covered trail
There's always compromises and what gets lost along the way is hard to reclaim but there are also the promises of new adventures or revisiting old ones with new perspectives

Saturday, 15th July 2017

I'm planning on moving to the Isle of Wight in 1>2 years. I feel it'd be better for me. They have bicycle lanes in areas of natural beauty, their 2 bedroom houses are the same as a roomshare in South East London. One day maybe I could mortgage or even buy a house, and even maybe I could grow vegetables. Maybe I could be a talent finder or event organiser.

Monday, 10th July 2017

I got in contact with an old friend (one who I have only spoken to a handful of times these past 10 years) and I asked her if she had any lyrics for a song, which coincidentally she had this past week. She gave me a time frame of writing a song within the hour and this is what I managed. We were both apparently happy enough with the results

My own words don't seem to express enough for me anymore, they always seem to fall short of my feeling but hopefully I can express that enough through music