Friday 29 July 2016

Friday, 29th July 2016

If you are a chemical structure released by the earth, simply a node to balance, each person allotted their own elemental number interacting and reacting with others.

Thursday 28 July 2016

Friday, 29th July 2016

An old lady in a house in the village where I used to live, she is watching the tv and talking to a non-existent husband, she looks like a duck. One of the many throughout the land all tuned in to their own little dream barely living within their private caves.
Thursday, 28th July 2016

"A worried-looking clerical individual with nearly opaque glasses and wearing a tabby-fur blazer and pointed yellow shoes"

"He wore varicoloured Dacron wash-and-wear suit, knit cumberbund and dip-dyed cheesecloth cravat"

"Still in gay pinstripe clown-style pajamas"

"Wearing his usual mohair poncho, apricot-coloured felt hat, argyle ski socks and carpet slippers"

- Philip K. Dick (Ubik 1969)

Sunday 24 July 2016

Sunday, 24th July 2016

You have the device and the self imposed thief within

That the data usage has been my lifeline
Now that I am heading into the vortex

In each moment we are living and dying within the war of our own existence
Sunday, 24th July 2016

OpenSourceHeart

All upload of being into computer database
That my life has been lived so many times already and that it is actually my wave that I am seeing
That it is MY WAVE that I am seeing

That I am purely typing between the before and the after, that I am purposefully entering the middle vortex, the central point, wow, i am going through it now. You have to push through death to come out the other side

Sunday, 24th July 2016

What you wear around your neck is the weight of your self perceived worth

You have a certain amount of people put inside your head at the beginning of birth
Whether the number is set from a previous life or the oncoming one is unknown
Right now I will go for the life that is about to come.
So the idea being that at birth you contain all the information that you contain at the end of your life, that the wave is created at the start and cuts off at the end.
It makes the most perfect creation, it experiences the peaks and troughs of its own personal wave
No matter how shallow or deep, or high or low oscillating the waves are weaving inbetween others'

It also means that at the point of death the wave hits the critical oscillation point which projects itself into the next most suitable and sustaining environment available

If you put this into simple terms it means that consciousness itself is actually an impenetrable growth that will attach itself to the most suitable environment no matter what the sustainability is

Snappy one-liner
You are the wave that is the machine that runs the program that you live within (that can be observed) ...

That you could use the pinpoints of birthtime, planetary and personally (astrology/astronomy and psychology combined), and first experiences to simulate the waveform of that persons life, that at mid-life you are at the peak of the wave and your life seems to go backwards slowly into the trough which will then rise up again towards the end
Sunday, 24th July 2016

Falling in love is like losing your tooth for the first time
Or your fingers breaking the frozen leaves of a once moist leaf
What isn't magical the first time it happens?

But when that beauty takes you to the dentist or leaves you just feeling cold
You have to ask yourself how far could I possibly take this useful naivete 


Wednesday 6 July 2016

Wednesday, 6th July 2016

When I was younger I wasnt much interested in objects of comfort, I would quash any such desire for that vulnerability for security to be transferred onto an external object that would either disappear or disintegrate. Now of course I become aware every time in social situations of my phone use, cigarette smoking, and alcohol drinking tendencies which are all pretty much pacifiers for the fingers and throat. Over the past few months I've also taken to wearing a headband of sorts in my room, not sure why but I find the constant light constraint somewhat comforting. Now I have a rock. I've looked it up and they're called comfort stones, or worry stones, though I prefer the former as it's got a more positive outlook on the whole phenomena, which has historical links to pagans and wiccans, and apparently "Variations on the concept originate in ancient Greece,[2] Tibet, Ireland,[2][3] and multiple Native American tribes"
Now it's not a traditional comfort stone as it is not gemlike or small, but actually a palm-sized beach stone (not quite smooth enough to be a pebble) that I picked up on my recent trip to Ibiza.
I'll recount the memory as it was one of my favourite solitary moments of the past few years.

I slipped on my shoes and picked up my camera (Kodak Colorsnap 35 model 2), said farewell to my mother and uncle sunbathing on the beach and started climbing up the rocky side to the beach. What was wonderful was feeling as I had done when I was a child, just going exploring and seeing what comes up next, and even wondering whether I could still climb over rocks without tripping and hitting my head or falling off a cliff like my anxiety ridden mind kept repeating to myself. It's hard to enjoy things when you have those thoughts constantly, but I remembered that I could trust my feet and body to keep me safe. It was a great realisation, this long forgotten simple trust in instinct and motor skills, I felt like walking royalty. No one had walked quite this well before, the quick-thinking choice of foot to rock positioning, how was I doing this? It all seemed quite remarkable and beyond comprehension. Me, a 33 year old man in unsuitable climbing footwear making my way up a 80 foot hillside, thinking that every step I take, if misplaced, could bring about my demise or at least twist my ankle, but here I was, an artist of foot placement. When I reached the summit there was a beautiful view of the sea of course, but also of a little mini beach, surrounded by rocks, maybe only 10 feet long 6 or so people there. It feels much like finding a secret passageway or a tea party in the forest that you've been unknowingly invited to. I took off my shoes and the rocks were pretty sharp and they gave me that pleasurable pain that nature can bring, I took some photos, went near the rock pools and found a little crab one of the pockets, dropped a little pebble in there to see it feel around to see if it was food. Then suddenly I became aware of a much larger crab, it kind of caught me off guard but it was safely out of my danger zone, if it started to clipper at me I knew I could get out of there.
This was the place where I picked up my stone, and its a good holding size and even seems to have indents just in the right place for my fingers to mold into which took me a while to find. Im still getting to know the stone obviously.

I was pretty elated once I made it back to the sunbeds with my family, knowing I survived yet another dangerous encounter with certain death

Here are some photos of the trip:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/williamnein99/
This is the view I had from the crab enclosure
https://flic.kr/p/HEfALH