Sunday, 28th November 2021

The Gnostic Gospels - centreplace

 Saturday, 27th November 2021

Slightly remixed one of the songs from back in 2019/20:

William Nein · Headlights (Second Hand Stories - 2020)

HEADLIGHTS
I lie above my fallen teeth and crouch under a bed beneath
Cupboards that begin to creak as soon as I start to sleep
I wake and call you on the phone, cables wrapped around my bones
Wires begin coupling to notify the signalmen
Behind bars they sit and wait, sticks balancing empty plates
Someone tunes the radio to a song that we both know
As I sing you start to dance, a hollow victory romance
With nothing we decide to drive, with nothing we can survive
Leaving town and taking notes, ghosts living in empty coats
Keeping warm as prison walls tumble down like waterfalls
Tales and cities flicking screens lighting up like gasoline
And as the car is turning slow I roll down the window
Hearing words come from the street, the wind's telling me a secret
Driving blindly into cars, headlights looking like the stars
Sirens calling in the street, stopping signs is where we meet
In silence we begin to run, off before the starting gun
Head along the waters edge, jumping from the window ledge
Tied up fall into the sea, drowning just like Houdini
Underwater we can fly, up above the surface lies
As the salt turns into our skin, we disappear and merge again

Friday, 12th November 2021

Fragmented thoughts - I've been reading alot at work lately as there has tended to be plenty of time to do so. Words to the Wise by Manly P Hall, I picked up a copy of Madame Blavatsky's biography and read a few pages, started work on Hamlets Mill where even though I've only read little more than the introduction it's been a wonder, that then got me onto looking into Isaac Netwons Papers by Sarah Dry, which then made me read a little of his Chronology. So there's a muddle of ideas and thoughts in my head right now. I may start to write posts more in a jagged form or fragments simply because I'm just stringing ideas together without really analysing them first.

Facebook > Meta - how geometric shapes come to mind, how the macro and micro are images of themselves. If we can witness the birth of a metaverse which people will no doubt begin to live in within the next decade or so, how can we relate that to our own current reality?
Have we forgotten the universe that lies outside of our current one like many will forget this one once conditioned to the metaverse?

I ask myself what is it that the company really wants? Because people who live within a computerised reality won't really be able to work and offer money, so it can't be financial. They also have focused on acquiring people's data for years now, so is it some kind of spirit draining entity, one that takes your mental energy, soul if you like, and is that the thing that it desires? 

Like the micro crystal to the snowflake, how do we compare and contrast that world with our current one? Have we been duped into a half-conscious sleep where we work, pay rent, eat, survive, and let our spirit and soul get sucked out of us. Is the metaverse a new solution for an old problem? People start to wake up so they must put us back to sleep again, create a new layer, another dimension, to make us forget who we really are. To make us weaker in the outside world. For surely once all power is placed in the hands of the few with the energy supply and the cloudspace, and we are all entrenched in living within that reality, that our bodies and mental faculties degrade in this current world. Which again makes me wonder what have we lost from the past that we are not even aware of. When you never had it you can't really miss it. However, I always have felt like I am missing something, something doesn't add up, doesn't feel right about this place. I'll keep searching and keep my eyes out, keep reading, keep trying to not go insane, and try to keep my shit together, not get too lonely, or sad, or angry, but to keep hope and to keep learning from the masters of old, to try an untangle parts of the riddle, all the time knowing it's all just a bit of a game really.

Saturday, 6th November 2021

I just want to say sorry to anyone I've ever hurt or upset. I know they most likely won't ever read this but there's the need to share it somewhere. I'm a person with many faults and I feel the weight of them every day, of every word I've ever said, every misunderstanding, every impulsive move I've ever made and their consquences. I've never seen myself as a malicious person and I don't wish any harm to anyone but the simple act of existing seems to create situations where I wished I had acted differently, to have known the things I know now, and to know the mistakes I will make in the future and to avoid them.
Call it mental illness, call it ignorance or lack of sense, call it whatever you feel it to be. I have no right to expect anything from anyone, any understanding or forgiveness. How people will see things and how I will see things will always have moments of disconnect. But that doesn't mean I don't feel the guilt and shame every day of wishing those people understood where I was coming from, and it doesn't change the fact that I wish I could express myself better and in more positive ways so they wouldn't feel those things in the first place.

I just want everyone to know that I'm sorry, and that if I could have never hurt anyone I would be so pleased, but I have, and I take full responsibility for it. There aren't excuses in this world really, but I always wish that I could do better