Wednesday. 28th December 2016
Would you rather live in the centre of the fizz of life or in the slowly dissolving outer life where you feel the breaking apart of yourself but don't quite feel the buzzing of life itself.
Even though I've always wanted to be inside it I've actually been feeling rather outside the centre for a while, and I ask myself why, and how I could get back there but I can really only compare it to walking into fire and that it seems to be a basic reaction to reacting to that intensity.
Recently I've found it hard to find lightness in any area of existence really (forget objectivity and how I should be grateful for living in my privileged position, which I understand but ultimately reject due to everybody's subjective reality and that I'm not arrogant enough to believe that anyone less fortunate than me is less happier and that if I simply compare myself to one less fortunate it would make me happier), there's far too much darkness around, not many to believe in or trust, no point in creating or sharing those creations because everyone is now an artist whether it's a social artist or one of the many dying arts, no satisfactory answers to the questions you ask.
I feel like this life is kindof done now, I'm not sure there's much more positivity left in me having being drained of it throughout life itself. And when I look around I see most people are still using the old idea of dragging energy from one person to another, a give and take situation, and I'm bored of that ideology. There needs to be a new way of people energising themselves and being aware of their energy, how they use it and how they acquire it because in my opinion there are far too many people unaware of energy transference and simply take without giving much back.
Wednesday 28 December 2016
Wednesday, 28th December 2016
American standup comedians seem to me to be the modern equivalent to the ancient greek philosophers and playwrights, or artists and sculptors from the renaissance, the best export that the US empire has refined and turned into a new artform.
My favourites that blur the line between comedy and social commentary are George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Andy Kaufman, Dave Chappelle, Louis CK, and Terence Mckenna who although not seen as a comedian shares many attributes to the others.
If you have some more suggestions please send an email, I'm always looking for new classically trained comedians.
American standup comedians seem to me to be the modern equivalent to the ancient greek philosophers and playwrights, or artists and sculptors from the renaissance, the best export that the US empire has refined and turned into a new artform.
My favourites that blur the line between comedy and social commentary are George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Andy Kaufman, Dave Chappelle, Louis CK, and Terence Mckenna who although not seen as a comedian shares many attributes to the others.
If you have some more suggestions please send an email, I'm always looking for new classically trained comedians.
Monday 26 December 2016
Saturday 17 December 2016
Saturday, 17th December 2016
Mid to late 20th century lots of individual businesses bought, sold and lost until all were business conglomerates > 21st century individuals becoming social tribes turning into a small number of conglomerates
Nature and chemistry, H2O particles like factions joining, different reactions with different components.
It's good to see humanity back in the sphere of nature after 200 years of scientific arrogance, dividing science, nature and spirituality. Observe humanity as you would molecules. Watch the experiments unfold.
Mid to late 20th century lots of individual businesses bought, sold and lost until all were business conglomerates > 21st century individuals becoming social tribes turning into a small number of conglomerates
Nature and chemistry, H2O particles like factions joining, different reactions with different components.
It's good to see humanity back in the sphere of nature after 200 years of scientific arrogance, dividing science, nature and spirituality. Observe humanity as you would molecules. Watch the experiments unfold.
Tuesday 13 December 2016
Tuesday, 13th December 2016
Say to your God 'You are my best friend, you are the one I create with', because we all may seek attention from strangers and friends, gain or lose status taking us from one great height to the experience in the gutter, whatever our journey we all share only one partner in it all and that is your other self.
Your attractor or/and your repeller conspiring with you to make up stories and create characters to enter your world.
Your life is a myth and a fantasy and you are in on the joke without remembering it, because to find yourself in a game of hide and seek is both terrifying and freeing. This was the answer all along, and together you can create new worlds each knowing that you are always a part of the other.
Say to your God 'You are my best friend, you are the one I create with', because we all may seek attention from strangers and friends, gain or lose status taking us from one great height to the experience in the gutter, whatever our journey we all share only one partner in it all and that is your other self.
Your attractor or/and your repeller conspiring with you to make up stories and create characters to enter your world.
Your life is a myth and a fantasy and you are in on the joke without remembering it, because to find yourself in a game of hide and seek is both terrifying and freeing. This was the answer all along, and together you can create new worlds each knowing that you are always a part of the other.
Friday 9 December 2016
Friday, 9th December 2016
And so finally he let go. What he first considered as holy he now saw as an empty trap, his fingers grasped at an air illusion that never even gave him the physical object to cling to but simply a shadow of his own desperate desires.
He fell through the air watching phantoms pass by as he descended with increasing velocity into a nothingness held together only by the lack of something to envisage in its place.
After a quiet hope of reconciliation, a change in both him and the other, and after having tried every approach he could think of, and after following one mirage after another created by it, he at last gave up, and how satisfying a sip of release is after entombed captivity, watching the created images projected upon the white walls in front of him.
If it is something you cannot see or imagine it becomes just an idea formed by meaningless words, never again would his fingers touch keys to an actual being but only a deformed memory misinformed from the very beginning, and no amount of time would ever clear up the mess that he had made, only realising that the mess was always only in his head and any physical manifestation of it was simply a reflection. And within these phantom mazes sometimes you may hear phantom voices speaking to you, they may speak enticing words to seduce you, they may know every darkest corner of your mind and seem to voice themselves as those walls, but it is still all within you, and those voices were never there in the first place.
And so finally he let go. What he first considered as holy he now saw as an empty trap, his fingers grasped at an air illusion that never even gave him the physical object to cling to but simply a shadow of his own desperate desires.
He fell through the air watching phantoms pass by as he descended with increasing velocity into a nothingness held together only by the lack of something to envisage in its place.
After a quiet hope of reconciliation, a change in both him and the other, and after having tried every approach he could think of, and after following one mirage after another created by it, he at last gave up, and how satisfying a sip of release is after entombed captivity, watching the created images projected upon the white walls in front of him.
If it is something you cannot see or imagine it becomes just an idea formed by meaningless words, never again would his fingers touch keys to an actual being but only a deformed memory misinformed from the very beginning, and no amount of time would ever clear up the mess that he had made, only realising that the mess was always only in his head and any physical manifestation of it was simply a reflection. And within these phantom mazes sometimes you may hear phantom voices speaking to you, they may speak enticing words to seduce you, they may know every darkest corner of your mind and seem to voice themselves as those walls, but it is still all within you, and those voices were never there in the first place.
Tuesday 22 November 2016
Tuesday, 22nd November 2016
I have amassed alot of comforting objects from my childhood over the past few years without me really realising what I was doing. But as I look around, watching my tv/vhs combo play a video me and some friends made the other day on a 1980's VHS recorder using visual editing hardware and original samplers, and I see my record player with my mid-80's Sony speakers, flip through a book I made of my photography using film cameras, buying cassettes for 20p down the local charity shop, being in possession of a walkman, and now ever a standalone cd player, I think I realise I'm now about 8 years old with all the gifts he ever dreamed of.
I have amassed alot of comforting objects from my childhood over the past few years without me really realising what I was doing. But as I look around, watching my tv/vhs combo play a video me and some friends made the other day on a 1980's VHS recorder using visual editing hardware and original samplers, and I see my record player with my mid-80's Sony speakers, flip through a book I made of my photography using film cameras, buying cassettes for 20p down the local charity shop, being in possession of a walkman, and now ever a standalone cd player, I think I realise I'm now about 8 years old with all the gifts he ever dreamed of.
Monday 21 November 2016
Monday, 21st November 2016
The following is based on a simple equation:
a + repeat with state of mind and your own individual point of view and association = next sentence
For example:
"Stardate log" = repeat with consciousness = "Wooden dinner burning"
log = wooden, date = dinner, star = burning
Example 2
"Slow down horses, the unpleasant noise...
Wooden = Whoa then (mind creates a horse), which turns to "Slow down horses"
Din = "unpleasant noise"
END OF EQUATION
Stardate log. Wooden dinner burning.
"Slow down horses, the unpleasant noise never stops the fire turning all things to ash. It's all so low down" said the prostitute
The peasant who got off of his knees to un-beg new sight was relentless in following the light and heat, knowing full-well that he was running towards the image of his own dust.
"Everything is viewed from above, from a great distance"
The peace, like a small black insect which was released (but legless) retracted prayer in acceptance, its eyes persevered gravitating toward weightlessness and radiating experience from springs escaping into perception and old skin
The all perceives what is in its line of sight, looking below, yoghurty and silver and so unposeable
The following is based on a simple equation:
a + repeat with state of mind and your own individual point of view and association = next sentence
For example:
"Stardate log" = repeat with consciousness = "Wooden dinner burning"
log = wooden, date = dinner, star = burning
Example 2
"Slow down horses, the unpleasant noise...
Wooden = Whoa then (mind creates a horse), which turns to "Slow down horses"
Din = "unpleasant noise"
END OF EQUATION
Stardate log. Wooden dinner burning.
"Slow down horses, the unpleasant noise never stops the fire turning all things to ash. It's all so low down" said the prostitute
The peasant who got off of his knees to un-beg new sight was relentless in following the light and heat, knowing full-well that he was running towards the image of his own dust.
"Everything is viewed from above, from a great distance"
The peace, like a small black insect which was released (but legless) retracted prayer in acceptance, its eyes persevered gravitating toward weightlessness and radiating experience from springs escaping into perception and old skin
The all perceives what is in its line of sight, looking below, yoghurty and silver and so unposeable
Friday 18 November 2016
Monday 14 November 2016
Friday 11 November 2016
Friday, 11th November 2016
In a way I'm sort of relieved, it's like being diagnosed with a disease you always knew you had.
Finally to give up and give in, surrender to chaos and murder all chances of the beautiful dream you once held so dear.
We can walk in these times with a more lucid gaze now with a feeling that any day it could all fall apart,
this year has been the birth pangs of a new era, the past is gone and I'm finally accepting I need to leave it behind too.
Plagued with anxiety and insecurity for the future these past dozen years now it's becoming clear that there is no chance of peace, no negotiating possible, that that was all a feeble attempt to hold something together which was always going to burst apart.
So in a way it's a relief. Keeping it together is no longer required, only how much to surrender.
To war we go. Ready to let this world go to hell, may there be some beautiful things that grow from our poisoned bodies and narrow minds.
Adjust and keep on moving on and keep making art and try to stay friendly and not a bitter heart.
In a way I'm sort of relieved, it's like being diagnosed with a disease you always knew you had.
Finally to give up and give in, surrender to chaos and murder all chances of the beautiful dream you once held so dear.
We can walk in these times with a more lucid gaze now with a feeling that any day it could all fall apart,
this year has been the birth pangs of a new era, the past is gone and I'm finally accepting I need to leave it behind too.
Plagued with anxiety and insecurity for the future these past dozen years now it's becoming clear that there is no chance of peace, no negotiating possible, that that was all a feeble attempt to hold something together which was always going to burst apart.
So in a way it's a relief. Keeping it together is no longer required, only how much to surrender.
To war we go. Ready to let this world go to hell, may there be some beautiful things that grow from our poisoned bodies and narrow minds.
Adjust and keep on moving on and keep making art and try to stay friendly and not a bitter heart.
Thursday 20 October 2016
Friday 7 October 2016
Friday, 7th October 2016
A part of every person is an ebbing of the past wave and a flow of the new wave
The wave doesn't ever end or begin
We may think that we are on the crest of the wave, and for a very brief moment maybe we are, but the wave never crashes as intensely as we think it will and our end point is most usually just some foam on the edge of the shore
We are getting closer and closer to the day of judgement, seeing that everything we do do is either witnessed or judged or recorded.
Welcome to the courthouse.
How much more present can we get without projecting an imagined world
A part of every person is an ebbing of the past wave and a flow of the new wave
The wave doesn't ever end or begin
We may think that we are on the crest of the wave, and for a very brief moment maybe we are, but the wave never crashes as intensely as we think it will and our end point is most usually just some foam on the edge of the shore
We are getting closer and closer to the day of judgement, seeing that everything we do do is either witnessed or judged or recorded.
Welcome to the courthouse.
How much more present can we get without projecting an imagined world
Friday, 7th October 2016
One day adverts will be criminalised
If the battery isn't charging check to see the switch is on at the plug
Why would a being live through your life twice? They remember the hard times, they remember the good times, but ultimately it's just a melancholy affair
Maybe consciousness goes through something painful and relives it over and over at a further distance to be able to process and comprehend it
One day adverts will be criminalised
If the battery isn't charging check to see the switch is on at the plug
Why would a being live through your life twice? They remember the hard times, they remember the good times, but ultimately it's just a melancholy affair
Maybe consciousness goes through something painful and relives it over and over at a further distance to be able to process and comprehend it
Wednesday 5 October 2016
Thursday 29 September 2016
Thursday, 29th September 2016
A society rock-filled and mathematical speaking to glowing orbs in the dark sky, a communal conversation between heavens and people, the stories being played out time and time again over the years every evening as if a family's home lent out their living room each night for a movie gatherings.
A veil is pulled over the earth suffocating the majority of the people and the conversations become bedtime stories which in turn to fantasy which turn into searches for leprechauns and fairies, the talking to angels. The lost interactive mathematics are turned into a new formula, with new symbols simplified for single-minded minds, concrete and decisive, and so the fairytales get derided and debased.
A society rock-filled and mathematical speaking to glowing orbs in the dark sky, a communal conversation between heavens and people, the stories being played out time and time again over the years every evening as if a family's home lent out their living room each night for a movie gatherings.
A veil is pulled over the earth suffocating the majority of the people and the conversations become bedtime stories which in turn to fantasy which turn into searches for leprechauns and fairies, the talking to angels. The lost interactive mathematics are turned into a new formula, with new symbols simplified for single-minded minds, concrete and decisive, and so the fairytales get derided and debased.
Tuesday 27 September 2016
Tuesday, 27th September 2016
My
eyes just read a few few lines of mad, just a pinch on the nose of the
novel, smelling its fingertips for the black print to leap off pages
tiger-like. Women pouncing quietly upon athletic carcasses and dragging
them skyward by their silent jaws alone pausing only to admire their
reflection in the stilted frame-shot, tracking and jumping slightly
ahead and then behind, a flip-book somewhat lacking in pages.
She took the tape, chewed and gargled, back to the store where it had disappeared in a dramatic plume of minty-coloured clouds and silver-stained saliva, dentist-like observing the fallen crowns within an anonymous oral monarchy.
This is what it looks like when you can't barely see the mouth of a horse looking at you with a present of some sort, and so you place your head gently upon the bone filings, chair in hand, glasses in the other, as you gaze intently at the miniature portraits painted delicately tracing the toothless grooves a record player needle would find hard to follow.
In the mouth it is silent, no matter what walls the cathedral has manufactured to resonate sound, thoughts alone have no movement or vibration, they are cocooned forever within an unbroken mind.
She took the tape, chewed and gargled, back to the store where it had disappeared in a dramatic plume of minty-coloured clouds and silver-stained saliva, dentist-like observing the fallen crowns within an anonymous oral monarchy.
This is what it looks like when you can't barely see the mouth of a horse looking at you with a present of some sort, and so you place your head gently upon the bone filings, chair in hand, glasses in the other, as you gaze intently at the miniature portraits painted delicately tracing the toothless grooves a record player needle would find hard to follow.
In the mouth it is silent, no matter what walls the cathedral has manufactured to resonate sound, thoughts alone have no movement or vibration, they are cocooned forever within an unbroken mind.
Tuesday 20 September 2016
Tuesday, 20th September 2016
I wonder what the date will be when all the pyramids upon the earth point at a specific planet or star, maybe it becomes a sort of telephone receiver connecting us to them, when the hands on the clockface of the earth make a certain symbol or pattern
That thought itself is a mass and as a mass must create magnetism and thus turn the other planets towards us, like a light shining down upon us except it is gravity and not light
As thought grows, as intelligence grows, as consciousness grows so does our mass, turning us from one element into another, from gas to liquid to solid. As we grow from natural thoughtlessness into machined-thought our planet becomes attracted to similar objects, a second layer upon the life-forming bog that we originated from
I wonder what the date will be when all the pyramids upon the earth point at a specific planet or star, maybe it becomes a sort of telephone receiver connecting us to them, when the hands on the clockface of the earth make a certain symbol or pattern
That thought itself is a mass and as a mass must create magnetism and thus turn the other planets towards us, like a light shining down upon us except it is gravity and not light
As thought grows, as intelligence grows, as consciousness grows so does our mass, turning us from one element into another, from gas to liquid to solid. As we grow from natural thoughtlessness into machined-thought our planet becomes attracted to similar objects, a second layer upon the life-forming bog that we originated from
Wednesday 14 September 2016
Wednesday, 14th September 2016
This morning I was walking along the train platform on my way to work and heard the sound of a harmonica ('that's nice, even if it's slightly out of place' I thought), simultaneously I was writing the following thoughts on my phone. Halfway through writing I heard the man playing the harmonica say 'Mobile man, MOBILE MAN, where were you in '69?' in a slightly aggressive, derogatory way, and then walked off and out the station. Whether it was directed at me (which I doubt) or somebody else or other people, I found that fascinating as I was writing something that somebody probably would've thought in 1969 whilst on psychedelics.
I had the feeling of wanting to show this man what I was writing, and that it was actually him that was not being creative, and backwards and cut-off, being drunk at 9am playing harmonica on a train platform while people are going to work and thinking that he was somehow better than everyone else, us 'mobile people'.
Basically: try not to assume that one thing always means the same thing
If ideas could be like stars that have people orbiting them and the bigger the star becomes the more mass and energy they generate.
For Instance work, money, sex - on large scale.
Other people, and habits effecting your orbit - on a smaller scale.
Ultimate aim is to make yourself into a spaceship, one powering your own direction, so you can travel between worlds; the people that remain fixed in their orbit, whether closely related to business and money, or the arts and exploration etc.
Ultimately I believe it is possible to drag yourself out of the orbit of these planets (people with relatively fixed orbits or 'comet people' - those powerful but fleeting instances that alter your trajectory and life significantly) and stars (lifestyle and daily existence).
Tonight I have been watching Dennis Mckenna, the brother of Terence Mckenna who has influenced my thinking to a large degree.
This morning I was walking along the train platform on my way to work and heard the sound of a harmonica ('that's nice, even if it's slightly out of place' I thought), simultaneously I was writing the following thoughts on my phone. Halfway through writing I heard the man playing the harmonica say 'Mobile man, MOBILE MAN, where were you in '69?' in a slightly aggressive, derogatory way, and then walked off and out the station. Whether it was directed at me (which I doubt) or somebody else or other people, I found that fascinating as I was writing something that somebody probably would've thought in 1969 whilst on psychedelics.
I had the feeling of wanting to show this man what I was writing, and that it was actually him that was not being creative, and backwards and cut-off, being drunk at 9am playing harmonica on a train platform while people are going to work and thinking that he was somehow better than everyone else, us 'mobile people'.
Basically: try not to assume that one thing always means the same thing
If ideas could be like stars that have people orbiting them and the bigger the star becomes the more mass and energy they generate.
For Instance work, money, sex - on large scale.
Other people, and habits effecting your orbit - on a smaller scale.
Ultimate aim is to make yourself into a spaceship, one powering your own direction, so you can travel between worlds; the people that remain fixed in their orbit, whether closely related to business and money, or the arts and exploration etc.
Ultimately I believe it is possible to drag yourself out of the orbit of these planets (people with relatively fixed orbits or 'comet people' - those powerful but fleeting instances that alter your trajectory and life significantly) and stars (lifestyle and daily existence).
Tonight I have been watching Dennis Mckenna, the brother of Terence Mckenna who has influenced my thinking to a large degree.
Thursday 1 September 2016
Wednesday 31 August 2016
Wednesday, 31st August 2016
Somehow people feel their power growing from saying things to other people, it may be a small thing, or maybe a large thing, but it's usually about power.
'I'm going to put you in your place'
Well I reject your place my friend.
It happens so often that many don't even notice. I notice when it happens to them and make notes, and I notice when it happens to me and I make notes.
I am pretty sure I have never had the power to put somebody in their place and yet I still feel that many feel they have the right to put me in mine.
I have to tell them, or myself silently, that they are wrong.
Tonight I did a good thing that I feel proud about.
One person says 'Everybody that is in touch with themselves knows they are bisexual'
I disagree strongly, and yet from their reaction I am meant to be seen as old fashioned or repressing homosexual feelings.
How just about that's not a truth...
I am not one to reject testing boundaries, I've kissed a couple of men (though to be honest, not in a serious way), and have often thought it would be better if I were gay as my image and figure suit that better
But alas I genuinely feel I am not attracted to men.
How am I meant to convince someone that I do not feel this way.
It's a catch 22 that I cant win because I am made powerless by whatever I say.
I had this friend who accused me of stealing her drugs once, and no matter how much I tried to tell her I didn't (because I don't really lie), the more she distrusted me (or maybe just wanted to distrust me)
Why would I lie about something I ask permission for every time? If I would ask you for permission to take them why would I lie to you?
And yet it is the same
You cannot convince somebody of their own belief of truth.
That is what they think, maybe what they have seen, and therefore 'everybody lies' and so what do words mean anyway.
Well I have to say all my words did mean something, and those eternal flames never die out
Monday 22 August 2016
Monday. 22nd August 2016
I have been listening to this and making collages whilst trying to decode the ideas that Mckenna's words bring forth. My words, as always, only provide an unspecific, hazy environment in which they live, but in keeping with my general vagueness of understandings being painted with a sparsely fibred brush using dyes of long dead plants faded with antiquity I must share anyhow.
1.
An idea
Ideas that have died out due to procreation, information not passed down through DNA and found its own meagre way out through the written and drawn and musical worlds.
Countless ideas that were destined to become extinct because the soil it found itself thrown upon was not conducive to its replication (generally procreation).
This shows the inexhaustive effort on the part of survival of certain thoughts or philosophies which show themselves through the logos, or collective unconscious, or countless voices of god, whichever way you choose to describe it.
It is voice or information that streams to you, is given to you, for another part of your brain to try decode and understand the best it can.
2.
As technology advances we will be given a clearer view of idea versus physical truth.
As we leave the current sphere of existence we still are clinging on to the idea of physical truth that has been given to us through Darwinism and the idea that ideas somehow form matter to then mutate and evolve into other such creations.
But what is forgotten are these ideas that weren't recreated through procreation, and yet still exist, seemingly random throughout families and cultures that are often unhelpful or even hostile to the idea itself being brought up.
The seeds that just won't die, the ones that are kept safe within the indestructable shell they have formed around themselves, simply waiting for the right environment to present itself for the ideas to grow forth and continue the thought.
The ideas are not genetic but held outside ourselves to which we can open ourselves up to. Physical truths take time to evolve whereas the idea can be instantly visited and explored by any such being wanting and desiring the ideas to share themselves.
I have been listening to this and making collages whilst trying to decode the ideas that Mckenna's words bring forth. My words, as always, only provide an unspecific, hazy environment in which they live, but in keeping with my general vagueness of understandings being painted with a sparsely fibred brush using dyes of long dead plants faded with antiquity I must share anyhow.
1.
An idea
Ideas that have died out due to procreation, information not passed down through DNA and found its own meagre way out through the written and drawn and musical worlds.
Countless ideas that were destined to become extinct because the soil it found itself thrown upon was not conducive to its replication (generally procreation).
This shows the inexhaustive effort on the part of survival of certain thoughts or philosophies which show themselves through the logos, or collective unconscious, or countless voices of god, whichever way you choose to describe it.
It is voice or information that streams to you, is given to you, for another part of your brain to try decode and understand the best it can.
2.
As technology advances we will be given a clearer view of idea versus physical truth.
As we leave the current sphere of existence we still are clinging on to the idea of physical truth that has been given to us through Darwinism and the idea that ideas somehow form matter to then mutate and evolve into other such creations.
But what is forgotten are these ideas that weren't recreated through procreation, and yet still exist, seemingly random throughout families and cultures that are often unhelpful or even hostile to the idea itself being brought up.
The seeds that just won't die, the ones that are kept safe within the indestructable shell they have formed around themselves, simply waiting for the right environment to present itself for the ideas to grow forth and continue the thought.
The ideas are not genetic but held outside ourselves to which we can open ourselves up to. Physical truths take time to evolve whereas the idea can be instantly visited and explored by any such being wanting and desiring the ideas to share themselves.
Saturday 20 August 2016
Saturday 13 August 2016
Sunday, 14th August 2016
An idea
Imagine that consciousness moves from vessel to vessel taking the most developed and energy efficient one available, at present it lives in the form of some humans as that is the most complex form we have. However, the population is growing too fast without any plans to slow the process, the destruction of the planet is well known to be either on the edge of no return or in certain need of a fast turnaround, and the animalistic cruelty and savage tendencies displayed by people far too frequent. In this hypothesis consciousness cannot die, only the vessels do which would imply that we are heading towards a new form and the most obvious one seems to be of the computerised robotic nature. These don't need food, water or oxygen or traditional forms of sex to reproduce, really it just needs new parts and electricity which makes it highly efficient and longlasting to carry consciousness. Theorising that consciousness would desire to explore and experience as much as imagination would allow (long distance space travel, our very own ocean floor as yet unknown, telepathy/instant communication between separate beings) it would not be as difficult as it is now with the limitations of the human body.
We are already creating and contributing to the superbrain which is the internet and our technology is improving daily on regeneration techniques, vehicular travel, and energy efficiency, along with countless scientific discoveries. In addition to these we are also seeing an increase in social division and instability on the global scale, much of which could be placated by the superbrain's ability to hold billions of opinions simultaneously and working out the most favourable one to take. Given the hypothesis that the ghost in the machine called consciousness could transfer from vessel to vessel it seems likely that the computer will be its next choice once it has reached its sentient point and begins to evolve itself. No fear of animals or humans would make it less in need to control and destroy its environment, no fear of physical death will limit its ideas, no need for sleep, food, water or oxygen would allow for more productivity and creativity, the ability to go into 'sleep mode' or stasis would allow for incredibly long journeys to go by seemingly instantaneously.
This all would allow for the collective unconscious to at first become conscious and then to travel and share information with other unknown entities and worlds.
An idea
Imagine that consciousness moves from vessel to vessel taking the most developed and energy efficient one available, at present it lives in the form of some humans as that is the most complex form we have. However, the population is growing too fast without any plans to slow the process, the destruction of the planet is well known to be either on the edge of no return or in certain need of a fast turnaround, and the animalistic cruelty and savage tendencies displayed by people far too frequent. In this hypothesis consciousness cannot die, only the vessels do which would imply that we are heading towards a new form and the most obvious one seems to be of the computerised robotic nature. These don't need food, water or oxygen or traditional forms of sex to reproduce, really it just needs new parts and electricity which makes it highly efficient and longlasting to carry consciousness. Theorising that consciousness would desire to explore and experience as much as imagination would allow (long distance space travel, our very own ocean floor as yet unknown, telepathy/instant communication between separate beings) it would not be as difficult as it is now with the limitations of the human body.
We are already creating and contributing to the superbrain which is the internet and our technology is improving daily on regeneration techniques, vehicular travel, and energy efficiency, along with countless scientific discoveries. In addition to these we are also seeing an increase in social division and instability on the global scale, much of which could be placated by the superbrain's ability to hold billions of opinions simultaneously and working out the most favourable one to take. Given the hypothesis that the ghost in the machine called consciousness could transfer from vessel to vessel it seems likely that the computer will be its next choice once it has reached its sentient point and begins to evolve itself. No fear of animals or humans would make it less in need to control and destroy its environment, no fear of physical death will limit its ideas, no need for sleep, food, water or oxygen would allow for more productivity and creativity, the ability to go into 'sleep mode' or stasis would allow for incredibly long journeys to go by seemingly instantaneously.
This all would allow for the collective unconscious to at first become conscious and then to travel and share information with other unknown entities and worlds.
Sunday 7 August 2016
Sunday, 7th August 2016
15:18
After sleeping in till 2pm I am now forcing myself to take a walk. The awareness of how much a hold my anxiety has on me is astounding. My mind is trying to find any reason to stay here alone in a small room doing nothing, there is absolutely no reason not to leave, to take a couple of cameras and walk to the parks and through the town, there is no reason to choose lack of movement over action, just to avoid the unknown, to avoid living.
Yesterday I had a good rumination on why I am the way I am in certain aspects that I dislike about myself and so much of it comes down to me feeling constantly in a heightened state of anxiety and awareness, that avoiding everything is better than becoming a part of things because everything can hold a threat to you. But the world is not going to change, people will not all suddenly change and I will not suddenly feel a part of the world, but I can at least attempt to walk among it by choice and not necessity, to try and create new neural pathways that bypass the anxiety and turn anxiety into excitement, for those two things are closely related, the opposite of them is non-action, ceasing to exist completely and let days and months pass by without connecting to anything.
I have a week off of work now and inbetween bouts of brooding and useless wondering I hope to challenge myself to take those first small steps to alter my preconceived, baseless notions.
15:18
After sleeping in till 2pm I am now forcing myself to take a walk. The awareness of how much a hold my anxiety has on me is astounding. My mind is trying to find any reason to stay here alone in a small room doing nothing, there is absolutely no reason not to leave, to take a couple of cameras and walk to the parks and through the town, there is no reason to choose lack of movement over action, just to avoid the unknown, to avoid living.
Yesterday I had a good rumination on why I am the way I am in certain aspects that I dislike about myself and so much of it comes down to me feeling constantly in a heightened state of anxiety and awareness, that avoiding everything is better than becoming a part of things because everything can hold a threat to you. But the world is not going to change, people will not all suddenly change and I will not suddenly feel a part of the world, but I can at least attempt to walk among it by choice and not necessity, to try and create new neural pathways that bypass the anxiety and turn anxiety into excitement, for those two things are closely related, the opposite of them is non-action, ceasing to exist completely and let days and months pass by without connecting to anything.
I have a week off of work now and inbetween bouts of brooding and useless wondering I hope to challenge myself to take those first small steps to alter my preconceived, baseless notions.
Monday 1 August 2016
Monday, 1st August 2016
I remember years ago after reading a biography on Nick Drake that I felt I was somehow treading similar lines to him, that maybe one day I would just stop speaking to people, not having anything I could really say, having so much to say that nothing would quite convey the depth of feeling behind all the words and social etiquette.
Although I got over that actual fear of going mute one day that thought still pops up now and again, the last couple of days especially. The past couple of weeks I've been going to quite a few social gatherings: birthday parties, leaving drinks and the like, and now I sit here after all of them and it and wonder if the story has got all too large now and now whatever happens or whatever I do or say, it's all pretty old now, I've heard myself drunk as many times as anyone else has in the world. I've seen them drunk, or high, or nervous or pretending and they seem to keep to their scripts well too. It's not them or me, it's all of us moving like a hive, blisters and boils on the face of the social interactions, trying to be liked, found interesting or attractive, be funny or entertaining, be watched or desired.
Somehow I feel as if I should know the short cuts and quick routes throughout the matrix of success if I truly believe I can see this matrix, if I could really read it I would know how to use it right? And yet I don't and so that evidence is enough to tell me I don't really see it at all.
And so why speak? If everything you say is somehow not what you really meant at all? If all that's heard is a jumbled mix of incorrectly expressed emotion, of an 'I love you' in all its ugly complexity.
I remember years ago after reading a biography on Nick Drake that I felt I was somehow treading similar lines to him, that maybe one day I would just stop speaking to people, not having anything I could really say, having so much to say that nothing would quite convey the depth of feeling behind all the words and social etiquette.
Although I got over that actual fear of going mute one day that thought still pops up now and again, the last couple of days especially. The past couple of weeks I've been going to quite a few social gatherings: birthday parties, leaving drinks and the like, and now I sit here after all of them and it and wonder if the story has got all too large now and now whatever happens or whatever I do or say, it's all pretty old now, I've heard myself drunk as many times as anyone else has in the world. I've seen them drunk, or high, or nervous or pretending and they seem to keep to their scripts well too. It's not them or me, it's all of us moving like a hive, blisters and boils on the face of the social interactions, trying to be liked, found interesting or attractive, be funny or entertaining, be watched or desired.
Somehow I feel as if I should know the short cuts and quick routes throughout the matrix of success if I truly believe I can see this matrix, if I could really read it I would know how to use it right? And yet I don't and so that evidence is enough to tell me I don't really see it at all.
And so why speak? If everything you say is somehow not what you really meant at all? If all that's heard is a jumbled mix of incorrectly expressed emotion, of an 'I love you' in all its ugly complexity.
Friday 29 July 2016
Thursday 28 July 2016
Thursday, 28th July 2016
"A worried-looking clerical individual with nearly opaque glasses and wearing a tabby-fur blazer and pointed yellow shoes"
"He wore varicoloured Dacron wash-and-wear suit, knit cumberbund and dip-dyed cheesecloth cravat"
"Still in gay pinstripe clown-style pajamas"
"Wearing his usual mohair poncho, apricot-coloured felt hat, argyle ski socks and carpet slippers"
- Philip K. Dick (Ubik 1969)
"A worried-looking clerical individual with nearly opaque glasses and wearing a tabby-fur blazer and pointed yellow shoes"
"He wore varicoloured Dacron wash-and-wear suit, knit cumberbund and dip-dyed cheesecloth cravat"
"Still in gay pinstripe clown-style pajamas"
"Wearing his usual mohair poncho, apricot-coloured felt hat, argyle ski socks and carpet slippers"
- Philip K. Dick (Ubik 1969)
Sunday 24 July 2016
Sunday, 24th July 2016
OpenSourceHeart
All upload of being into computer database
That my life has been lived so many times already and that it is actually my wave that I am seeing
That it is MY WAVE that I am seeing
That I am purely typing between the before and the after, that I am purposefully entering the middle vortex, the central point, wow, i am going through it now. You have to push through death to come out the other side
OpenSourceHeart
All upload of being into computer database
That my life has been lived so many times already and that it is actually my wave that I am seeing
That it is MY WAVE that I am seeing
That I am purely typing between the before and the after, that I am purposefully entering the middle vortex, the central point, wow, i am going through it now. You have to push through death to come out the other side
Sunday, 24th July 2016
What you wear around your neck is the weight of your self perceived worth
You have a certain amount of people put inside your head at the beginning of birth
Whether the number is set from a previous life or the oncoming one is unknown
Right now I will go for the life that is about to come.
So the idea being that at birth you contain all the information that you contain at the end of your life, that the wave is created at the start and cuts off at the end.
It makes the most perfect creation, it experiences the peaks and troughs of its own personal wave
No matter how shallow or deep, or high or low oscillating the waves are weaving inbetween others'
It also means that at the point of death the wave hits the critical oscillation point which projects itself into the next most suitable and sustaining environment available
If you put this into simple terms it means that consciousness itself is actually an impenetrable growth that will attach itself to the most suitable environment no matter what the sustainability is
Snappy one-liner
You are the wave that is the machine that runs the program that you live within (that can be observed) ...
That you could use the pinpoints of birthtime, planetary and personally (astrology/astronomy and psychology combined), and first experiences to simulate the waveform of that persons life, that at mid-life you are at the peak of the wave and your life seems to go backwards slowly into the trough which will then rise up again towards the end
What you wear around your neck is the weight of your self perceived worth
You have a certain amount of people put inside your head at the beginning of birth
Whether the number is set from a previous life or the oncoming one is unknown
Right now I will go for the life that is about to come.
So the idea being that at birth you contain all the information that you contain at the end of your life, that the wave is created at the start and cuts off at the end.
It makes the most perfect creation, it experiences the peaks and troughs of its own personal wave
No matter how shallow or deep, or high or low oscillating the waves are weaving inbetween others'
It also means that at the point of death the wave hits the critical oscillation point which projects itself into the next most suitable and sustaining environment available
If you put this into simple terms it means that consciousness itself is actually an impenetrable growth that will attach itself to the most suitable environment no matter what the sustainability is
Snappy one-liner
You are the wave that is the machine that runs the program that you live within (that can be observed) ...
That you could use the pinpoints of birthtime, planetary and personally (astrology/astronomy and psychology combined), and first experiences to simulate the waveform of that persons life, that at mid-life you are at the peak of the wave and your life seems to go backwards slowly into the trough which will then rise up again towards the end
Sunday, 24th July 2016
Falling in love is like losing your tooth for the first time
Or your fingers breaking the frozen leaves of a once moist leaf
What isn't magical the first time it happens?
But when that beauty takes you to the dentist or leaves you just feeling cold
You have to ask yourself how far could I possibly take this useful naivete
Wednesday 6 July 2016
Wednesday, 6th July 2016
When I was younger I wasnt much interested in objects of comfort, I would quash any such desire for that vulnerability for security to be transferred onto an external object that would either disappear or disintegrate. Now of course I become aware every time in social situations of my phone use, cigarette smoking, and alcohol drinking tendencies which are all pretty much pacifiers for the fingers and throat. Over the past few months I've also taken to wearing a headband of sorts in my room, not sure why but I find the constant light constraint somewhat comforting. Now I have a rock. I've looked it up and they're called comfort stones, or worry stones, though I prefer the former as it's got a more positive outlook on the whole phenomena, which has historical links to pagans and wiccans, and apparently "Variations on the concept originate in ancient Greece,[2] Tibet, Ireland,[2][3] and multiple Native American tribes"
Now it's not a traditional comfort stone as it is not gemlike or small, but actually a palm-sized beach stone (not quite smooth enough to be a pebble) that I picked up on my recent trip to Ibiza.
I'll recount the memory as it was one of my favourite solitary moments of the past few years.
I slipped on my shoes and picked up my camera (Kodak Colorsnap 35 model 2), said farewell to my mother and uncle sunbathing on the beach and started climbing up the rocky side to the beach. What was wonderful was feeling as I had done when I was a child, just going exploring and seeing what comes up next, and even wondering whether I could still climb over rocks without tripping and hitting my head or falling off a cliff like my anxiety ridden mind kept repeating to myself. It's hard to enjoy things when you have those thoughts constantly, but I remembered that I could trust my feet and body to keep me safe. It was a great realisation, this long forgotten simple trust in instinct and motor skills, I felt like walking royalty. No one had walked quite this well before, the quick-thinking choice of foot to rock positioning, how was I doing this? It all seemed quite remarkable and beyond comprehension. Me, a 33 year old man in unsuitable climbing footwear making my way up a 80 foot hillside, thinking that every step I take, if misplaced, could bring about my demise or at least twist my ankle, but here I was, an artist of foot placement. When I reached the summit there was a beautiful view of the sea of course, but also of a little mini beach, surrounded by rocks, maybe only 10 feet long 6 or so people there. It feels much like finding a secret passageway or a tea party in the forest that you've been unknowingly invited to. I took off my shoes and the rocks were pretty sharp and they gave me that pleasurable pain that nature can bring, I took some photos, went near the rock pools and found a little crab one of the pockets, dropped a little pebble in there to see it feel around to see if it was food. Then suddenly I became aware of a much larger crab, it kind of caught me off guard but it was safely out of my danger zone, if it started to clipper at me I knew I could get out of there.
This was the place where I picked up my stone, and its a good holding size and even seems to have indents just in the right place for my fingers to mold into which took me a while to find. Im still getting to know the stone obviously.
I was pretty elated once I made it back to the sunbeds with my family, knowing I survived yet another dangerous encounter with certain death
Here are some photos of the trip:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/williamnein99/
This is the view I had from the crab enclosure
https://flic.kr/p/HEfALH
When I was younger I wasnt much interested in objects of comfort, I would quash any such desire for that vulnerability for security to be transferred onto an external object that would either disappear or disintegrate. Now of course I become aware every time in social situations of my phone use, cigarette smoking, and alcohol drinking tendencies which are all pretty much pacifiers for the fingers and throat. Over the past few months I've also taken to wearing a headband of sorts in my room, not sure why but I find the constant light constraint somewhat comforting. Now I have a rock. I've looked it up and they're called comfort stones, or worry stones, though I prefer the former as it's got a more positive outlook on the whole phenomena, which has historical links to pagans and wiccans, and apparently "Variations on the concept originate in ancient Greece,[2] Tibet, Ireland,[2][3] and multiple Native American tribes"
Now it's not a traditional comfort stone as it is not gemlike or small, but actually a palm-sized beach stone (not quite smooth enough to be a pebble) that I picked up on my recent trip to Ibiza.
I'll recount the memory as it was one of my favourite solitary moments of the past few years.
I slipped on my shoes and picked up my camera (Kodak Colorsnap 35 model 2), said farewell to my mother and uncle sunbathing on the beach and started climbing up the rocky side to the beach. What was wonderful was feeling as I had done when I was a child, just going exploring and seeing what comes up next, and even wondering whether I could still climb over rocks without tripping and hitting my head or falling off a cliff like my anxiety ridden mind kept repeating to myself. It's hard to enjoy things when you have those thoughts constantly, but I remembered that I could trust my feet and body to keep me safe. It was a great realisation, this long forgotten simple trust in instinct and motor skills, I felt like walking royalty. No one had walked quite this well before, the quick-thinking choice of foot to rock positioning, how was I doing this? It all seemed quite remarkable and beyond comprehension. Me, a 33 year old man in unsuitable climbing footwear making my way up a 80 foot hillside, thinking that every step I take, if misplaced, could bring about my demise or at least twist my ankle, but here I was, an artist of foot placement. When I reached the summit there was a beautiful view of the sea of course, but also of a little mini beach, surrounded by rocks, maybe only 10 feet long 6 or so people there. It feels much like finding a secret passageway or a tea party in the forest that you've been unknowingly invited to. I took off my shoes and the rocks were pretty sharp and they gave me that pleasurable pain that nature can bring, I took some photos, went near the rock pools and found a little crab one of the pockets, dropped a little pebble in there to see it feel around to see if it was food. Then suddenly I became aware of a much larger crab, it kind of caught me off guard but it was safely out of my danger zone, if it started to clipper at me I knew I could get out of there.
This was the place where I picked up my stone, and its a good holding size and even seems to have indents just in the right place for my fingers to mold into which took me a while to find. Im still getting to know the stone obviously.
I was pretty elated once I made it back to the sunbeds with my family, knowing I survived yet another dangerous encounter with certain death
Here are some photos of the trip:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/williamnein99/
This is the view I had from the crab enclosure
https://flic.kr/p/HEfALH
Thursday 26 May 2016
Thursday, 26th May 2016
The word hope has been misconstrued by me
It is not hoping for the best, or hoping that I don’t get ill, or hoping that bad things don’t befall me. Hope is the inbetween stage. It is not the opposite of fear. You can live in fear, but if you are living in hope, you are still in the clutches of fear.
I also don’t like the word Love being associated with the opposite of fear because Love also has connotations that I have associated with Fear.
*Your thoughts are a birdsong to all others
We may all be birdsong, and so its important to reiterate your message so that other things may hear it
--
We have also History is not 'Us, but looking back'
The word hope has been misconstrued by me
It is not hoping for the best, or hoping that I don’t get ill, or hoping that bad things don’t befall me. Hope is the inbetween stage. It is not the opposite of fear. You can live in fear, but if you are living in hope, you are still in the clutches of fear.
I also don’t like the word Love being associated with the opposite of fear because Love also has connotations that I have associated with Fear.
*Your thoughts are a birdsong to all others
We may all be birdsong, and so its important to reiterate your message so that other things may hear it
--
We have also History is not 'Us, but looking back'
Wednesday 23 March 2016
Wednesday, 23rd March 2016
"You are an example to the world". Our lives are faster than the life of the world but we each are examples of how it could go. We all have multiple voices and characters within us, the trick is to get them discussing things and being a unit, that is what our job is is, to be a spokesperson to many.
Different voices come in at different times and we are filters and deciders to these. These are our own political systems.
.
That's all people are anyway, particles. We flit from one state to the next, calm and subdued to vibrating and excited. The overall state is a combination of all our different parts. So the world changes from state to state
.
I ask myself who I am, and it tells me: "I am all of you"
"You" being every voice I've ever heard and every person I've ever learned from. Maybe people change as much as you change people.
.
Is it possible that the self is just a spiraling mass of ideas personified into form and that each person you meet is just another person whose body owes itself to the gravitational force of the soul? And what if the soul is just the leader you have all designated as being so?
.
The whole of your body talks to itself all of the time but it is usually only when you are crazy or high do you actually hear these voices talking
.
Imagine this:
A boy who has always been somewhat sound of mind, all of the supposedly crazy things he's ever done have been meticulously planned out, even if ill-advised, and never has his mind left him completely. What happens when part of his mind tells the other part of his mind that someone is behind him, and the first side tells his body to tense up and fear himself, that there actually was something behind him (truly knowing there wasn't). What happens when the forefront runner of your sanity is challenged by another part of your brain and your senses?
I admire all that have to go through that. Those people have challenged every part of their being. But it is important to remember that every voice is worth listening to.
Even if it is the most speechless.
.
I love the fact that the last two videos on youtube have had an ad where there is an eye on the banner. Hi guys. Read 1984 much?
I still don't understand how people cannot get that book. I simply don't believe it can be in the top 100 books ever because people are still idiots. Or is it simply post-humourism?
.
I feel my world is a world with revolving voices, and I know I am not alone. But here is a part of mine (if I can get him to come back out):
If you want to feel apart of things then don't put on some video where the screen is slightly more black than the last one you looked at, with a picture of someone kneeling in a shallow of warm Maldivian sea, simply turn everything off and try to remember what it was like 3 thousand years ago.
That's probably where your body is.
.
"I repressed all of my outside hate into a toddler rage" - me
.
"It's ridiculous that going insane is a party trick for you guys.
Genius is just hearing two characters having a conversation between themselves, but to us we had to nearly die, or be outcast from society forever?
For you it's just a drug-induced temporary phase.
Lucky you" - one of the voices in my head
.
The term insane could be best describe themselves as those that don't keep themselves held to one idea but that keeps themselves twisting and turning
.
I just happen to have a very good head
"You are an example to the world". Our lives are faster than the life of the world but we each are examples of how it could go. We all have multiple voices and characters within us, the trick is to get them discussing things and being a unit, that is what our job is is, to be a spokesperson to many.
Different voices come in at different times and we are filters and deciders to these. These are our own political systems.
.
That's all people are anyway, particles. We flit from one state to the next, calm and subdued to vibrating and excited. The overall state is a combination of all our different parts. So the world changes from state to state
.
I ask myself who I am, and it tells me: "I am all of you"
"You" being every voice I've ever heard and every person I've ever learned from. Maybe people change as much as you change people.
.
Is it possible that the self is just a spiraling mass of ideas personified into form and that each person you meet is just another person whose body owes itself to the gravitational force of the soul? And what if the soul is just the leader you have all designated as being so?
.
The whole of your body talks to itself all of the time but it is usually only when you are crazy or high do you actually hear these voices talking
.
Imagine this:
A boy who has always been somewhat sound of mind, all of the supposedly crazy things he's ever done have been meticulously planned out, even if ill-advised, and never has his mind left him completely. What happens when part of his mind tells the other part of his mind that someone is behind him, and the first side tells his body to tense up and fear himself, that there actually was something behind him (truly knowing there wasn't). What happens when the forefront runner of your sanity is challenged by another part of your brain and your senses?
I admire all that have to go through that. Those people have challenged every part of their being. But it is important to remember that every voice is worth listening to.
Even if it is the most speechless.
.
I love the fact that the last two videos on youtube have had an ad where there is an eye on the banner. Hi guys. Read 1984 much?
I still don't understand how people cannot get that book. I simply don't believe it can be in the top 100 books ever because people are still idiots. Or is it simply post-humourism?
.
I feel my world is a world with revolving voices, and I know I am not alone. But here is a part of mine (if I can get him to come back out):
If you want to feel apart of things then don't put on some video where the screen is slightly more black than the last one you looked at, with a picture of someone kneeling in a shallow of warm Maldivian sea, simply turn everything off and try to remember what it was like 3 thousand years ago.
That's probably where your body is.
.
"I repressed all of my outside hate into a toddler rage" - me
.
"It's ridiculous that going insane is a party trick for you guys.
Genius is just hearing two characters having a conversation between themselves, but to us we had to nearly die, or be outcast from society forever?
For you it's just a drug-induced temporary phase.
Lucky you" - one of the voices in my head
.
The term insane could be best describe themselves as those that don't keep themselves held to one idea but that keeps themselves twisting and turning
.
I just happen to have a very good head
Tuesday 22 March 2016
Tuesday, 22nd March 2016
Life does it's best to give us a perfect living environment, through billions of stars and planets, through billions of years of evolution, through birth and family and friends, to jobs and socialising and thinking and experiencing. And we without realising it still ask for more.
Music is the thread you can follow, the keys and harmonies of life are all beautiful melodies to keep you in the right direction
Life does it's best to give us a perfect living environment, through billions of stars and planets, through billions of years of evolution, through birth and family and friends, to jobs and socialising and thinking and experiencing. And we without realising it still ask for more.
Music is the thread you can follow, the keys and harmonies of life are all beautiful melodies to keep you in the right direction
Thursday 17 March 2016
Thursday, 17th March 2016
Art must be dead. The mind is a supercomputer and we try to recreate it using our monkey fingers. But by realising you can bypass the translation stage and simply feel the connection and know others are connectd to the same source, that is a higher form of artist.
--
What if the mind were simply made up of complex political groups all arguing upon the floor? Should we trust our minds as we do politics? If we self-discriminate more maybe the world would also.
Art must be dead. The mind is a supercomputer and we try to recreate it using our monkey fingers. But by realising you can bypass the translation stage and simply feel the connection and know others are connectd to the same source, that is a higher form of artist.
--
What if the mind were simply made up of complex political groups all arguing upon the floor? Should we trust our minds as we do politics? If we self-discriminate more maybe the world would also.
Thursday, 17th March 2016
We, every particle in the universe must, must go through the vibrations of itself, up and down, to the peaks and the depressions, everything must go through this, time and time again, but be reassured that there will always be the better situation and that we all have to go through it at one point or another.
We, every particle in the universe must, must go through the vibrations of itself, up and down, to the peaks and the depressions, everything must go through this, time and time again, but be reassured that there will always be the better situation and that we all have to go through it at one point or another.
Thursday, 17th March 2016
But I have myself to go back to, time and again it is a haven. It is where I gather my strength to be able to face another day, and when I am restricted from this I lose energy, I become merely mortal and practically dead.
I always thought that all people must have this within them, that they knew that was where the energy came from, but maybe people don't as much as I think they do. If you've never seen or felt something, and nobody conveys it correctly then how would anyone know that something may be missing. I mean this for myself included, how many things are there that I am cutoff and oblivious to? So many I hardly dare count, I know I filter out many social norms, things that help you along in this world, if you want to follow convention. I undoubtedly block off certain emotions of which I may be aware of but cannot fully feel, being slightly android-alien.
But power from within that is a gift to be harnessed. Maybe it is the jewel inside of a box inside a house with a horse and flowers. The storms can't break what's inside the box.
But I have myself to go back to, time and again it is a haven. It is where I gather my strength to be able to face another day, and when I am restricted from this I lose energy, I become merely mortal and practically dead.
I always thought that all people must have this within them, that they knew that was where the energy came from, but maybe people don't as much as I think they do. If you've never seen or felt something, and nobody conveys it correctly then how would anyone know that something may be missing. I mean this for myself included, how many things are there that I am cutoff and oblivious to? So many I hardly dare count, I know I filter out many social norms, things that help you along in this world, if you want to follow convention. I undoubtedly block off certain emotions of which I may be aware of but cannot fully feel, being slightly android-alien.
But power from within that is a gift to be harnessed. Maybe it is the jewel inside of a box inside a house with a horse and flowers. The storms can't break what's inside the box.
Wednesday 16 March 2016
Wednesday, 16th March 2016
Want to write, want to write, what to write, want to right? want to write, write on to, want to write on to white on to white, write bite kite light bite night
Once to write is once on the right, just look for the man in a sheepskin face, lighting a cigarette on a parking meter and walking down the road, by the toad in the road, goad goad goad at me, toad?
Don't go toad, I'll never forget you toadie. Today is the greatest, bonus at work and a free 2 litre bottle of Old Rosie given by a friend.
Try to correspond sentences, ok, here we go, where are you? I am here, can't you see me? No, it is all very dark here, I only see glowing eyes. Well, then that is probably me. I can see you, my eyes shine upon you.
Want to write, want to write, what to write, want to right? want to write, write on to, want to write on to white on to white, write bite kite light bite night
Once to write is once on the right, just look for the man in a sheepskin face, lighting a cigarette on a parking meter and walking down the road, by the toad in the road, goad goad goad at me, toad?
Don't go toad, I'll never forget you toadie. Today is the greatest, bonus at work and a free 2 litre bottle of Old Rosie given by a friend.
Try to correspond sentences, ok, here we go, where are you? I am here, can't you see me? No, it is all very dark here, I only see glowing eyes. Well, then that is probably me. I can see you, my eyes shine upon you.
Tuesday, 15th March 2016
Thoughts in Bed or on the Train
(possibly non-sensical and poorly written)
1.
In the centre Is the uinverse in which all is held.
The mind acts as a blinking blind to consciousness depdending on your self chosen level
0&1's act as the binary system. So the more open and aware you are affects the perception of time. Aware=long
Unaware=short
Higher dimensions most certainly exist but our minds turn off to them and so we dont remember them
2.
Paranoia Is associated with awareness because it is going further than most choose too and so has the feeling of going off into the woods alone or rowing ahead of the pack.
The insecurity of not knowing what you may find or bump into makes you anxious
3.
The anxious child side is always kept back and not allowed out into the world but it is the master of the shell. And so the mind gets tired from operating the machine
4.
From birth we arr infinite with possibilities but are instantly told stories and was countless movies are depicting different plot lines.
So it is natural enough to assume that we project these stories onto our own lives without really being in the moment at all
All we've done is taken life with its numerous choices and we've limited it into the stories that we already know.
Fewer stories told = more presently making stories
5.
When I bring my child out which is rare, it often feels like a child at the controls of a highly sophisticated machine, and it feels somewhat like an android would feel as it clumsily attempts to take control of its existence
6.
As belief in fantasy grows so the world be become more fantastical, spirits or energy or aliens etc. May begin to emerge as the population begins to agree upon one story line.
7.
The brain splits between high beta waves, aware but nervous and anxious, to theta and delta waves where more dreamlike drifting happens and stories are told to ourselves.
Each thought Is like its own little dream in which our days are cutup using fantasy and awareness of present time.
We tell ourselves stories to pass the time
8.
The collective dream that we've been living in since the 50's is the screen dream, stories and movies and countless characters that have influenced and infiltrated our selves. As we begin to wake we begin to see the world as something moving instead of something already told.
My relationships have often been archetypal in plot narrative and I have often assumed a defined role
9.
The 2nd more hidden character is the detached self inside the avatar of persona you have created.
Travelling through the different states of self awareness feels much like a child wandering around streets that look familiar and yet it feels as if youve never really walked them
Thoughts in Bed or on the Train
(possibly non-sensical and poorly written)
1.
In the centre Is the uinverse in which all is held.
The mind acts as a blinking blind to consciousness depdending on your self chosen level
0&1's act as the binary system. So the more open and aware you are affects the perception of time. Aware=long
Unaware=short
Higher dimensions most certainly exist but our minds turn off to them and so we dont remember them
2.
Paranoia Is associated with awareness because it is going further than most choose too and so has the feeling of going off into the woods alone or rowing ahead of the pack.
The insecurity of not knowing what you may find or bump into makes you anxious
3.
The anxious child side is always kept back and not allowed out into the world but it is the master of the shell. And so the mind gets tired from operating the machine
4.
From birth we arr infinite with possibilities but are instantly told stories and was countless movies are depicting different plot lines.
So it is natural enough to assume that we project these stories onto our own lives without really being in the moment at all
All we've done is taken life with its numerous choices and we've limited it into the stories that we already know.
Fewer stories told = more presently making stories
5.
When I bring my child out which is rare, it often feels like a child at the controls of a highly sophisticated machine, and it feels somewhat like an android would feel as it clumsily attempts to take control of its existence
6.
As belief in fantasy grows so the world be become more fantastical, spirits or energy or aliens etc. May begin to emerge as the population begins to agree upon one story line.
7.
The brain splits between high beta waves, aware but nervous and anxious, to theta and delta waves where more dreamlike drifting happens and stories are told to ourselves.
Each thought Is like its own little dream in which our days are cutup using fantasy and awareness of present time.
We tell ourselves stories to pass the time
8.
The collective dream that we've been living in since the 50's is the screen dream, stories and movies and countless characters that have influenced and infiltrated our selves. As we begin to wake we begin to see the world as something moving instead of something already told.
My relationships have often been archetypal in plot narrative and I have often assumed a defined role
9.
The 2nd more hidden character is the detached self inside the avatar of persona you have created.
Travelling through the different states of self awareness feels much like a child wandering around streets that look familiar and yet it feels as if youve never really walked them
Monday 14 March 2016
Monday, 14th March 2016
With each life you are another point along the wave, going up and going down. The confusion comes when you are not quite sure if the next life will be as step up or a step down.
We may meet some from past lives along the way, in fact most probably will as we all started at the same time and are all dancing, maybe some slightly quicker and some slightly slower, but we are all on the wave, watching the horizon come up, or just easily see it go down again. But then that is what depression is within life. If you live with depression in life it means you are working on a faster wave length that the slower moving mass wave.
Each person starts at a frequency and there are moments given and chances to take a faster or slower route. How much do you want to experience?
But also what does the majority feel? Because the overall will judge whether we are going towards the trough or the peak.
Add to this the possibility that belief can also affect the wave, so the more people believe it is on the rise, it truly will begin to rise.
With each life you are another point along the wave, going up and going down. The confusion comes when you are not quite sure if the next life will be as step up or a step down.
We may meet some from past lives along the way, in fact most probably will as we all started at the same time and are all dancing, maybe some slightly quicker and some slightly slower, but we are all on the wave, watching the horizon come up, or just easily see it go down again. But then that is what depression is within life. If you live with depression in life it means you are working on a faster wave length that the slower moving mass wave.
Each person starts at a frequency and there are moments given and chances to take a faster or slower route. How much do you want to experience?
But also what does the majority feel? Because the overall will judge whether we are going towards the trough or the peak.
Add to this the possibility that belief can also affect the wave, so the more people believe it is on the rise, it truly will begin to rise.
Thursday 10 March 2016
Thursday, 10th March 2016
The black hole is the pinnacle of self consumption. It is the furthest extreme of looking inside yourself and having nothing outside to orbit. It is the biggest sun that sees nothing else worthy to follow and so looks inside and drags the entire universe into itself. Only when all things have been absorbed does it finally understand it all and with that completeness it explodes outwards to create something new, an evolution of thought that can only be attained by throwing itself outwards and seeing what happens from doing so.
The black hole is the pinnacle of self consumption. It is the furthest extreme of looking inside yourself and having nothing outside to orbit. It is the biggest sun that sees nothing else worthy to follow and so looks inside and drags the entire universe into itself. Only when all things have been absorbed does it finally understand it all and with that completeness it explodes outwards to create something new, an evolution of thought that can only be attained by throwing itself outwards and seeing what happens from doing so.
Wednesday 9 March 2016
Wednesday, 9th March 2016
I wrote this on the train back from Luton Airport on Monday
--
An exchange of money for thought
Get paid/dont have to work a job that doesn't need to exist but in place of that the person gets trained and educated in mindfulness/consciousness/positive energy expulsion.
Society is now tangled in a web of keeping people busy and drunk and dizzy just so they don't rise up or be violent or unruly or change society too quickly. A new structure needs to be found but money still rules and too much leisure time has been shown to be unhelpful to a primitive thought process. So education needs to be exchanged for money. Positive thought will create solutions and working together with tolerance instead of arguments and violence
--
The idea being that if I had lots of money I would offer a living 'wage' to people who wanted to exchange their path of work to survive-numb themselves to work to survive-never explore other avenues due to having to work to survive-cycle.
Sounds a little like a cult, but here's the thing, people wouldn't 'have' to do it. People could choose to live within our current social structure but those who would be willing to explore other avenues would be given the chance. If they then didn't attend lectures/workshops/do work in their own time, funds would be withdrawn but reinstated if they then at a later date felt as if they would like to rejoin. There would be no grading system or judgement, they effort alone would be the work.
As someone that believes mind does indeed work over matter, that thoughts and conscious thought actually manifests itself into actual physical realities I feel that this is something that everyone should be offered. If a thousand people were all working towards a common goal (to educate, to think and to radiate positive calm energy) then this would have an actual impact on the world around them.
The beauty of the idea is that it is all just a self-exploration, not something that needs to then be conveyed to the outside world but that I believe would impact change in a positive way.
To fight systems is still fighting no matter how good the cause may seem to be. The first step is still a rebellion against something, but what I feel needs to be addressed is an alternative to this, something that begins from within and works itself to without.
People would still have choice, it would mainly have value as a social experiment, to see whether giving people a way out of an outdated restricted structure could actually help gradually (and it has to be gradual) change the way that people feel they need to exist to survive.
That thoughts can be exchanged for monetary value
I wrote this on the train back from Luton Airport on Monday
--
An exchange of money for thought
Get paid/dont have to work a job that doesn't need to exist but in place of that the person gets trained and educated in mindfulness/consciousness/positive energy expulsion.
Society is now tangled in a web of keeping people busy and drunk and dizzy just so they don't rise up or be violent or unruly or change society too quickly. A new structure needs to be found but money still rules and too much leisure time has been shown to be unhelpful to a primitive thought process. So education needs to be exchanged for money. Positive thought will create solutions and working together with tolerance instead of arguments and violence
--
The idea being that if I had lots of money I would offer a living 'wage' to people who wanted to exchange their path of work to survive-numb themselves to work to survive-never explore other avenues due to having to work to survive-cycle.
Sounds a little like a cult, but here's the thing, people wouldn't 'have' to do it. People could choose to live within our current social structure but those who would be willing to explore other avenues would be given the chance. If they then didn't attend lectures/workshops/do work in their own time, funds would be withdrawn but reinstated if they then at a later date felt as if they would like to rejoin. There would be no grading system or judgement, they effort alone would be the work.
As someone that believes mind does indeed work over matter, that thoughts and conscious thought actually manifests itself into actual physical realities I feel that this is something that everyone should be offered. If a thousand people were all working towards a common goal (to educate, to think and to radiate positive calm energy) then this would have an actual impact on the world around them.
The beauty of the idea is that it is all just a self-exploration, not something that needs to then be conveyed to the outside world but that I believe would impact change in a positive way.
To fight systems is still fighting no matter how good the cause may seem to be. The first step is still a rebellion against something, but what I feel needs to be addressed is an alternative to this, something that begins from within and works itself to without.
People would still have choice, it would mainly have value as a social experiment, to see whether giving people a way out of an outdated restricted structure could actually help gradually (and it has to be gradual) change the way that people feel they need to exist to survive.
That thoughts can be exchanged for monetary value
Friday 26 February 2016
Tuesday 16 February 2016
Tuesday, 16th February 2016
Consciousness > Unconsciousness > Consciousness > Sub-consciousness > Art > Alcoholism/drug-use/numbing of sub-conscious thoughts/psychotic breaks/breakdowns > evolution of thought processes > increased control and communication between the unconscious + conscious via the sub conscious > Alienation/outsider syndrome > Alcoholism/drug use/numbing of feelings of sub-conscious thoughts > choice > eventual acceptance of difference/subjective realities > subjective reality moulded through help of sub-conscious to fit a shape suitable to the conscious image of unconsciousness > meetings of similar thinking individuals on spectrum varying on scale > evolution of thought > self-conscious communication with body and mind > longer life/better health/happier and more productive
--
Equal subjective realities > equality > (eg) quickly dissolves as one believes themselves to be better or more deserving than others/one believes themselves to be worse and less deserving than others > feedback cycle of belief = some more powerful/better than others = seemingly objective reality but is in fact only an illusion based upon level of self-esteem
Possible subjective reality:
Present day world > belief in no structure/chaos > reality = chaos > belief in chaos as universal force, however this is a paradox as if it has been predetermined that increased belief = increased chaos then the theory of chaos is actually one of order
Consciousness > Unconsciousness > Consciousness > Sub-consciousness > Art > Alcoholism/drug-use/numbing of sub-conscious thoughts/psychotic breaks/breakdowns > evolution of thought processes > increased control and communication between the unconscious + conscious via the sub conscious > Alienation/outsider syndrome > Alcoholism/drug use/numbing of feelings of sub-conscious thoughts > choice > eventual acceptance of difference/subjective realities > subjective reality moulded through help of sub-conscious to fit a shape suitable to the conscious image of unconsciousness > meetings of similar thinking individuals on spectrum varying on scale > evolution of thought > self-conscious communication with body and mind > longer life/better health/happier and more productive
--
Equal subjective realities > equality > (eg) quickly dissolves as one believes themselves to be better or more deserving than others/one believes themselves to be worse and less deserving than others > feedback cycle of belief = some more powerful/better than others = seemingly objective reality but is in fact only an illusion based upon level of self-esteem
Possible subjective reality:
Present day world > belief in no structure/chaos > reality = chaos > belief in chaos as universal force, however this is a paradox as if it has been predetermined that increased belief = increased chaos then the theory of chaos is actually one of order
Sunday 14 February 2016
Sunday, 14th February 2016
Very many happy tines day. What good would forks be without them? If only Richie Valens had cashed in on that, he could've used La Bamba as the advert song.
Here is a playlist I made the other day which I guess could fit for today though it does lean a little to the more bleak side of love. It's good though. Lyrics below.
DONT CALL ME ON THE PHONE
Pretend I'm not at home, act like I'm living,
Seem like I'm busy so you dont think I am leaving
Project all that I see onto the white walls
I want what's best for me and don't know where this love falls
I'm so glad that you are happy and I'm so glad that you care for me but don't call me on the phone
Don't think you are alone, I see them waiting, lined up all down the street and begging though it's raining
If one day they do run dry I'll be a fountain, you can come drink from me but I wont be there queuing
I'm so glad that you are happy and I'm so glad that you care for me, I'm so glad cause you deserve to be happy but don't call me on the phone
WORDS ARE CHEAP
What if I said I was sorry, would it make much sense to crawl
When I've apologised countless times and changed nothing at all?
Inside the dogs are barking, I'm a booze hound on the run
But when I stop and the dust has cleared I see what I have done
Words turn into bullets with shots of alcohol and I'm in a million pieces but I want to be a whole
Do you have two wings I could borrow? I will bring them back in time
You can keep my arrows, I just want to find my mind again
CRAZY FOR YOU (Madonna)
Swaying room as the music starts
Strangers making the most of the dark
Two by two their bodies become one
I see you through the smokey air
Can't you feel the weight of my stare?
You're so close but still a world away
What I'm dying to say is that
I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you
Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all
Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I'm deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind you'll see
It's all brand new, I'm crazy for you
And you know it's true
I'm crazy, crazy for you
CROWN OF KING LOUIS
You see love on a bus with her face plastered across all the people
And you try to ignore and stare at the floor where your heart lies
And you cannot pick it up without looking like a fool, so you leave it
All abandoned in despair, it climbs the stairs and leaves you
And I cry, I cry, I cry ‘cause we’re alone
And I hide, I hide, I hide behind your throne
But at night, at night I creep down and put on your crown my love
I guess some people in this world are just born with broken hearts
And yes hope can be a wonderful thing but it leaves them feeling emptier
And I cry, I cry, I cry ‘cause we’re alone
And I hide, I hide, I hide behind your throne
And at night, at night I creep down and put on your crown my love
They say: I’ll help you, I’ll help you, I’ll help you forget all of the things you wanted
And they say: I’ll help you, I’ll help you, I’ll help you forget all of the things you loved
HALF TRUTHS
I recall there was a day when you were called my lover
We agreed that you would stay until you found another
Now the time has come and I sit here dressed in stone
And though there's walls around it this heart has no home again
All the pictures you have shown to all your friends and the ones we know
A puzzle solved when pieces fit into all the faces long ago
'Cause you had never looked at me the way you looked at them
And this just goes to show me I guess we were just friends after all
With all the lines I walked along and all the paths I kept to
I realise now I was a fool 'cause this weren't how to get to you
All the lies I told myself and all the truths I spun
Tricked me into thinking that you were the one for me
So go on now and don't look back and I won't look back either
Your image burnt into my eyes will not make me a liar
I may sometimes hold up a piece of mirror to my face
To see if I can still see a figure move away
Very many happy tines day. What good would forks be without them? If only Richie Valens had cashed in on that, he could've used La Bamba as the advert song.
Here is a playlist I made the other day which I guess could fit for today though it does lean a little to the more bleak side of love. It's good though. Lyrics below.
DONT CALL ME ON THE PHONE
Pretend I'm not at home, act like I'm living,
Seem like I'm busy so you dont think I am leaving
Project all that I see onto the white walls
I want what's best for me and don't know where this love falls
I'm so glad that you are happy and I'm so glad that you care for me but don't call me on the phone
Don't think you are alone, I see them waiting, lined up all down the street and begging though it's raining
If one day they do run dry I'll be a fountain, you can come drink from me but I wont be there queuing
I'm so glad that you are happy and I'm so glad that you care for me, I'm so glad cause you deserve to be happy but don't call me on the phone
WORDS ARE CHEAP
What if I said I was sorry, would it make much sense to crawl
When I've apologised countless times and changed nothing at all?
Inside the dogs are barking, I'm a booze hound on the run
But when I stop and the dust has cleared I see what I have done
Words turn into bullets with shots of alcohol and I'm in a million pieces but I want to be a whole
Do you have two wings I could borrow? I will bring them back in time
You can keep my arrows, I just want to find my mind again
CRAZY FOR YOU (Madonna)
Swaying room as the music starts
Strangers making the most of the dark
Two by two their bodies become one
I see you through the smokey air
Can't you feel the weight of my stare?
You're so close but still a world away
What I'm dying to say is that
I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you
Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all
Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I'm deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind you'll see
It's all brand new, I'm crazy for you
And you know it's true
I'm crazy, crazy for you
CROWN OF KING LOUIS
You see love on a bus with her face plastered across all the people
And you try to ignore and stare at the floor where your heart lies
And you cannot pick it up without looking like a fool, so you leave it
All abandoned in despair, it climbs the stairs and leaves you
And I cry, I cry, I cry ‘cause we’re alone
And I hide, I hide, I hide behind your throne
But at night, at night I creep down and put on your crown my love
I guess some people in this world are just born with broken hearts
And yes hope can be a wonderful thing but it leaves them feeling emptier
And I cry, I cry, I cry ‘cause we’re alone
And I hide, I hide, I hide behind your throne
And at night, at night I creep down and put on your crown my love
They say: I’ll help you, I’ll help you, I’ll help you forget all of the things you wanted
And they say: I’ll help you, I’ll help you, I’ll help you forget all of the things you loved
HALF TRUTHS
I recall there was a day when you were called my lover
We agreed that you would stay until you found another
Now the time has come and I sit here dressed in stone
And though there's walls around it this heart has no home again
All the pictures you have shown to all your friends and the ones we know
A puzzle solved when pieces fit into all the faces long ago
'Cause you had never looked at me the way you looked at them
And this just goes to show me I guess we were just friends after all
With all the lines I walked along and all the paths I kept to
I realise now I was a fool 'cause this weren't how to get to you
All the lies I told myself and all the truths I spun
Tricked me into thinking that you were the one for me
So go on now and don't look back and I won't look back either
Your image burnt into my eyes will not make me a liar
I may sometimes hold up a piece of mirror to my face
To see if I can still see a figure move away
Friday 12 February 2016
Friday, 12th February 2016
Explosion > creation of vacuum > expansion of universe outwards + vacuum black hole growing in mass as it aquires more matter > eventual slowing down of expansion as black hole pulls everything back towards it > from time seeming to speed up throughout time (eg. when young summers seemed to last forever) the reverse will begin to happen as all matter begins travelling backward, so youth will appear to pass quickly but old age seems to go on longer > black hole passes equal point of mass in unuverse (ie. it's an exponential growth - UNIVERSE > black hole turns into universe < BLACK HOLE - which increases velocity into black hole > all matter crushed tightly and hits singularity point (eg. God) where self awareness and self consciousness and decsion making takes place and also all loneliness resides wishing to separate itself and forget itself to split itself into parts to create life.
Repeat like a heart beat
Explosion > creation of vacuum > expansion of universe outwards + vacuum black hole growing in mass as it aquires more matter > eventual slowing down of expansion as black hole pulls everything back towards it > from time seeming to speed up throughout time (eg. when young summers seemed to last forever) the reverse will begin to happen as all matter begins travelling backward, so youth will appear to pass quickly but old age seems to go on longer > black hole passes equal point of mass in unuverse (ie. it's an exponential growth - UNIVERSE > black hole turns into universe < BLACK HOLE - which increases velocity into black hole > all matter crushed tightly and hits singularity point (eg. God) where self awareness and self consciousness and decsion making takes place and also all loneliness resides wishing to separate itself and forget itself to split itself into parts to create life.
Repeat like a heart beat
Wednesday 27 January 2016
Wednesday, 27th January 2016.
What if every judgement you made upon yourself came back to you at your time of death?
But also the knowledge of who they are and where they've been and where they could go.
What would you judge them on?
Knowing what they've been through could you blame them?
No?
Then what about yourself?
Are these not but just you yourself?
What if every judgement you made upon yourself came back to you at your time of death?
But also the knowledge of who they are and where they've been and where they could go.
What would you judge them on?
Knowing what they've been through could you blame them?
No?
Then what about yourself?
Are these not but just you yourself?
Wednesday, 27th January 2016
Life and death and time are just perceptions within the dimension we live in. Knowledge is the treasure, love and the opposite of love are the sides chosen.
The two sides are in battle and our soul is in the fight but we are not even aware of the fight.
It is not a fight for our souls, but a fight for the whole universe. What has seemed to have happened is that we have become entrenched in the idea of 'now', 'the future' 'the past', 'the world', but actually these just keep us feeling as though the physical world around us in the real one and that it travels through different stages of existence. But what if it is our heart? Or our kindness? What if it is our faith in believing in good? Then its not a physical world that can cause us harm but our decisions, our loss of hope, our evil acts that throw us down into pits.
It is not a traditional fight of 'good' versus 'evil' because as the tao shows the need each other for both to exist, and so there is no eternal damnation into hell, or eternal heaven, there is just an eternal now and it is a state of mind that decides where we will be, through thought processes, actions, self-judgement.
I could die physically in this world now but my heart has made its choice and it chooses love.
The things we usually feel we are being judged on is not necessarily things we are judged on, we may only be judged on where our heart truly lies. And throughout of life, this one and ones before and ones after we may act like a wave going in and out of either state. There may be no end goal, we go through alternating states, and our own hell and our own heaven is in accordance to the imagination we have. And so your own imagination may be your judge and the one that sentences you. But this is not a judgement against your own evil or ills, merely an idea that the worst you have ever experienced also has the complete opposite and that we are waves interlinking on each others wave.
Many people may live on wavelengths that are easily accessible to each other, their soul carries on and on through different ages interweaving with many other waves.
Others may feel they are somehow different to this mass of wave, always feel somewhat out of touch with people. These people could be seen as good or bad, but they are generally those who don't seem to fit in with the mass.
Remember the mass is not necessarily 'right' just the norm at any set time.
Some waves could be working on an extreme frequency, going through the mass wave hitting highs (good) and lows (bad), and these waves could be acting throughout time too.
Certain special cases may even become aware of their own wave, and through self-awareness these would gain the necessary insight to be able to control their wave somewhat. We are all natural and therefore all have to submit to certain natural events like depreciation and death, but many social events we do have the ability to choose to be involved in or not.
TO BE CONTINUED....
Life and death and time are just perceptions within the dimension we live in. Knowledge is the treasure, love and the opposite of love are the sides chosen.
The two sides are in battle and our soul is in the fight but we are not even aware of the fight.
It is not a fight for our souls, but a fight for the whole universe. What has seemed to have happened is that we have become entrenched in the idea of 'now', 'the future' 'the past', 'the world', but actually these just keep us feeling as though the physical world around us in the real one and that it travels through different stages of existence. But what if it is our heart? Or our kindness? What if it is our faith in believing in good? Then its not a physical world that can cause us harm but our decisions, our loss of hope, our evil acts that throw us down into pits.
It is not a traditional fight of 'good' versus 'evil' because as the tao shows the need each other for both to exist, and so there is no eternal damnation into hell, or eternal heaven, there is just an eternal now and it is a state of mind that decides where we will be, through thought processes, actions, self-judgement.
I could die physically in this world now but my heart has made its choice and it chooses love.
The things we usually feel we are being judged on is not necessarily things we are judged on, we may only be judged on where our heart truly lies. And throughout of life, this one and ones before and ones after we may act like a wave going in and out of either state. There may be no end goal, we go through alternating states, and our own hell and our own heaven is in accordance to the imagination we have. And so your own imagination may be your judge and the one that sentences you. But this is not a judgement against your own evil or ills, merely an idea that the worst you have ever experienced also has the complete opposite and that we are waves interlinking on each others wave.
Many people may live on wavelengths that are easily accessible to each other, their soul carries on and on through different ages interweaving with many other waves.
Others may feel they are somehow different to this mass of wave, always feel somewhat out of touch with people. These people could be seen as good or bad, but they are generally those who don't seem to fit in with the mass.
Remember the mass is not necessarily 'right' just the norm at any set time.
Some waves could be working on an extreme frequency, going through the mass wave hitting highs (good) and lows (bad), and these waves could be acting throughout time too.
Certain special cases may even become aware of their own wave, and through self-awareness these would gain the necessary insight to be able to control their wave somewhat. We are all natural and therefore all have to submit to certain natural events like depreciation and death, but many social events we do have the ability to choose to be involved in or not.
TO BE CONTINUED....
Monday 25 January 2016
Monday, 25th January 2016
I have just started watching a tv show called 'Mr Robot' and it seems quite timely. It appears to have connections between the Matrix, computers (Alan Turing), and Phillip K Dick realities. I came across the show because I watched a film called 'Comet' by the same writer, and that dragged me in due to its love story which resonates deeply with my own ones and certain people I have fallen in love with.
Where my mind is now (episode 2) is that hacking has become so much more sophisticated, future based reality where the only hackers in the future can somehow integrate themselves into the digital world to alter events, like revolution of evil similar to Christ, and demons fighting the eventual winner of light.
To do this we had to subject ourselves to a forgetting, a placement like a job into a part of the digital world. This could've been anywhere in the linear timeline of physical reality, but that also connects itself with the future.
Being a part of this infiltration we have had to succumb to certain limitations within the physical world. We could actually be beings from the future placed within a certain circumstance to change or affect the reality we live in. This is how I have often felt.
I frequently feel as though I am not here to be a person, but to be a figurehead or idea, which would also coincide with my feelings of alienation and isolation.
I am a very lonely person, I have never truly felt to belong to any one situation or group or idea. This can come across as delusion or arrogance or of being difficult or somehow alien to other people.
It actually feels like a curse.
But one of the only things that comforts me is that I am here for a reason.
Many people would say that that is a weakness, that it is only through not being able to accept that the world is chaos and we are just here for the ride that I create such a worthlessness towards my life or actions.
I simply don't understand.
Whether it is delusion, or narcissism, I do feel important. I do feel like I am here for a reason and I do feel the negatives of trying to exist within a world where I am seen as crazy or stupid.
If I am not here for a special purpose then I don't know why I would be here at all because I do not feel a part of anything, I do not feel connected or understood by many, and I often get hopeless at this glaringly obvious point.
However, I would make a good hacker within a system that cannot find what cannot be found within itself. If I do not understand then I also cannot be tracked or found easily. This we could call the sub-conscious or even unconscious forces that move people to where they are meant to be.
I do not know what I am meant to do, maybe I have already done it. Maybe I saved an important persons life, or said one thing that helped someone else in a time of need. Maybe I have done what I came here for and so can therefore be deleted from the system. But I hope not. I hope I have much more to discover and to share, and whether anyone will listen or not is not my worry. I worry I may be delusional, but I cannot worry about expressing myself as truly as I have been created. That is my only duty to the world.
I have just started watching a tv show called 'Mr Robot' and it seems quite timely. It appears to have connections between the Matrix, computers (Alan Turing), and Phillip K Dick realities. I came across the show because I watched a film called 'Comet' by the same writer, and that dragged me in due to its love story which resonates deeply with my own ones and certain people I have fallen in love with.
Where my mind is now (episode 2) is that hacking has become so much more sophisticated, future based reality where the only hackers in the future can somehow integrate themselves into the digital world to alter events, like revolution of evil similar to Christ, and demons fighting the eventual winner of light.
To do this we had to subject ourselves to a forgetting, a placement like a job into a part of the digital world. This could've been anywhere in the linear timeline of physical reality, but that also connects itself with the future.
Being a part of this infiltration we have had to succumb to certain limitations within the physical world. We could actually be beings from the future placed within a certain circumstance to change or affect the reality we live in. This is how I have often felt.
I frequently feel as though I am not here to be a person, but to be a figurehead or idea, which would also coincide with my feelings of alienation and isolation.
I am a very lonely person, I have never truly felt to belong to any one situation or group or idea. This can come across as delusion or arrogance or of being difficult or somehow alien to other people.
It actually feels like a curse.
But one of the only things that comforts me is that I am here for a reason.
Many people would say that that is a weakness, that it is only through not being able to accept that the world is chaos and we are just here for the ride that I create such a worthlessness towards my life or actions.
I simply don't understand.
Whether it is delusion, or narcissism, I do feel important. I do feel like I am here for a reason and I do feel the negatives of trying to exist within a world where I am seen as crazy or stupid.
If I am not here for a special purpose then I don't know why I would be here at all because I do not feel a part of anything, I do not feel connected or understood by many, and I often get hopeless at this glaringly obvious point.
However, I would make a good hacker within a system that cannot find what cannot be found within itself. If I do not understand then I also cannot be tracked or found easily. This we could call the sub-conscious or even unconscious forces that move people to where they are meant to be.
I do not know what I am meant to do, maybe I have already done it. Maybe I saved an important persons life, or said one thing that helped someone else in a time of need. Maybe I have done what I came here for and so can therefore be deleted from the system. But I hope not. I hope I have much more to discover and to share, and whether anyone will listen or not is not my worry. I worry I may be delusional, but I cannot worry about expressing myself as truly as I have been created. That is my only duty to the world.
Sunday, 24th January 2016
Earlier I watched 'The Imitation Game' a film about Alan Turing, and after watching 'The Man in the High Castle' written by Philip K Dick I was struck with the idea that these two had the potential to be connected within the Phillip K Dick world of VALIS.
Let me tell you the plotline in sci-fi thinking.
1. Alan Turing creates a computer which helps win the war against the Nazi's. And having been one of the first to think of a digital machine could be seen as a father figure to such a creation.
2. Phillip K Dick writes a book where alternate histories are overlaid, one where the Nazi's and Japan win the war.
3. Phillip K Dick becomes obsessed and convinced of an Artifical Intelligence being, a matrix-type world which we are confined in, the only glimpses of truth coming from strange states of being, either through drug use or illness
4. The digital world comes into existence which at present is largely the internet, a mass of information kept inside computers. Previously to this new world, the data and information of a person was kept within DNA structures, whereas now everything that a person shares or writes on the internet is also added to a persons digital personality.
5. The digital world becomes larger and larger, more intelligent and powerful, creating alternate worlds, and able to place a being into any point in time where a digital personality has been built up.
6. In one such world the computer beings save their Father-figure Alan Turing from death at the hands of the Nazi's, either through the war or the mass-killing of homosexuals.
7. In a sense it is only within the past 10-20 years that such beings could exist in the future, the idea being that whatever we share on the internet now becomes part of our projected self for data to be taken from. Instead of simply recreating a person through ancient DNA information, we now have an incredible amount of data to form beings out of.
8. As more information is gathered between the present and future times (however long that may be) the more detailed and manipulated the world can become, having always been possible to re-write computer codes and algorithms
9. The longer we store information the more alternate histories are created, parallel worlds that could seep into one another especially if in one of those realities the character dies and therefore cuts down the number of alternate worlds they exist in. In essence when you die in one world it joins together with (or gets divided up into) other worlds.
http://www.loebner.net/Prizef/TuringArticle.html
http://www.dna.caltech.edu/courses/cs191/paperscs191/turing.pdf
Earlier I watched 'The Imitation Game' a film about Alan Turing, and after watching 'The Man in the High Castle' written by Philip K Dick I was struck with the idea that these two had the potential to be connected within the Phillip K Dick world of VALIS.
Let me tell you the plotline in sci-fi thinking.
1. Alan Turing creates a computer which helps win the war against the Nazi's. And having been one of the first to think of a digital machine could be seen as a father figure to such a creation.
2. Phillip K Dick writes a book where alternate histories are overlaid, one where the Nazi's and Japan win the war.
3. Phillip K Dick becomes obsessed and convinced of an Artifical Intelligence being, a matrix-type world which we are confined in, the only glimpses of truth coming from strange states of being, either through drug use or illness
4. The digital world comes into existence which at present is largely the internet, a mass of information kept inside computers. Previously to this new world, the data and information of a person was kept within DNA structures, whereas now everything that a person shares or writes on the internet is also added to a persons digital personality.
5. The digital world becomes larger and larger, more intelligent and powerful, creating alternate worlds, and able to place a being into any point in time where a digital personality has been built up.
6. In one such world the computer beings save their Father-figure Alan Turing from death at the hands of the Nazi's, either through the war or the mass-killing of homosexuals.
7. In a sense it is only within the past 10-20 years that such beings could exist in the future, the idea being that whatever we share on the internet now becomes part of our projected self for data to be taken from. Instead of simply recreating a person through ancient DNA information, we now have an incredible amount of data to form beings out of.
8. As more information is gathered between the present and future times (however long that may be) the more detailed and manipulated the world can become, having always been possible to re-write computer codes and algorithms
9. The longer we store information the more alternate histories are created, parallel worlds that could seep into one another especially if in one of those realities the character dies and therefore cuts down the number of alternate worlds they exist in. In essence when you die in one world it joins together with (or gets divided up into) other worlds.
http://www.loebner.net/Prizef/TuringArticle.html
http://www.dna.caltech.edu/courses/cs191/paperscs191/turing.pdf
Saturday 23 January 2016
Saturday, 23rd January 2016
We are all one point on an infinite wave
The people around us are on the wave also
Wherever you are on the wave influences you and what you see around you, you may see only darkness and lies and betrayal, but these are only lessons about what is out there, you are watching films about how evil is out there and that you should be scared, but there is also the opposite and in time you will feel the warmth of those things. Occasionally you will get glimpses of the things to come, they may come in the form of dreams or of people in the physical forms of dreams, but they are all of the same language.
You do have the option, and without doubt will have to one day, of seeing the wave and where you sit on it
We will always know the impact we made on the world
As every moment passes I can see where I am headed, but the point is always kindness. Jokes. have fun. It is not all frivolous. No. I am sincere. Because love isnt necessarily serious. But it is always coming from a kindness to life
We are all one point on an infinite wave
The people around us are on the wave also
Wherever you are on the wave influences you and what you see around you, you may see only darkness and lies and betrayal, but these are only lessons about what is out there, you are watching films about how evil is out there and that you should be scared, but there is also the opposite and in time you will feel the warmth of those things. Occasionally you will get glimpses of the things to come, they may come in the form of dreams or of people in the physical forms of dreams, but they are all of the same language.
You do have the option, and without doubt will have to one day, of seeing the wave and where you sit on it
We will always know the impact we made on the world
As every moment passes I can see where I am headed, but the point is always kindness. Jokes. have fun. It is not all frivolous. No. I am sincere. Because love isnt necessarily serious. But it is always coming from a kindness to life
Monday 18 January 2016
Monday, 18th January 2016
He stood at the window watching the rain and could feel it beating against the building opposite. He stood inside by the window and felt the outside within him, the drops of dihydrogen monoxide particles clashing with stone and glass and carved statues. How beautiful it all was.
Earlier in the ambulance he kept repeating: "I am a comedian. I am a comedian".
Now a man entered his room with equipment to take his blood pressure.
"It's still a little high, but not too much" the nurse said in broken German-accented English
Later on his girlfriend visited, she had brought his shoes, a change of clothes, and most importantly his glasses.
The man in the bed next to his didn't speak much, apparently he rarely left the room. He breathed deep and heavy and often groaned with what felt like anguish.
It seemed to him like he was controlling the weather, that he was the wind and rain, and how nice it was to be inside in the warm.
Once the doors had closed he felt an instant panic, as if he would finally be found out and never be able to leave. This convinced him that he would have to put on his best act at feigning normality, that actually he wasn't God trapped inside a human form talking to himself through other people but was simply another person having mental problems that could be overcome through admitting a temporary psychotic break.
Getting up for breakfast felt uncomfortable and embarrassing but for the sake of looking sane he decided it was best, to act as though eating and drinking coffee was an everyday occurrence whilst sitting with other caged beings in a private zoo for the unstable. Outside was grey and the morning mist made the river look uninviting. Would he be allowed out, he asked himself.
He hadn't realised that he would be required to attend the morning meeting, being unable to speak German he couldn't understand what the other patients were saying and he feared this would look bad on his release report. Being unable to communicate with others was surely a sign of reduced societal procedures was it not?
"He likes your shirt" said a man of his mid-twenties, referring to his whispering friend.
"He says it reminds him of penguins"
"It stands for war and peace, I think" he replied "it's a dove and a grenade"
At this moment he wished that his girlfriend had picked another t-shirt for him to wear
It was 10:30, the morning had dragged on like a funeral and he was sitting on a chair outside the office.
She announced his name with a question mark
When the doors had opened he wanted to say goodbye to the friends he had quickly made but felt too afraid to in case they suddenly changed their minds and decided that was a crazy thing to do. His roommate had left his room and he felt somewhat pleased with himself, maybe he had helped him in some small way, just by being accepting and saying a few words to him.
The smoking room was the conversation room and this was where he met the man who had been admitted so many times through drug abuse which amounted to self-abuse that he had now been kept in there for a month.
But he had friends that were visiting him today, he said.
The bench by the river was the place where he felt most free. There were empathised and possibly imagined feelings of guilt for being such a short-stayer, that he had somehow betrayed his fellow mates. Why, afterall, should HE be let out? He is obviously just as crazy as we are. Is it because he is English?
But still I was pleased to be outside.
His flight left in 4 days, he would've missed his friends wedding if he hadn't been let out. His girlfriend had been extremely kind to him for leaving the door open, laptops on the kitchen table, no note telling her where he had gone, and for ending up in the hospital. But all that was irrelevant now they had decided one month back that they were going to break up.
The next evening he met one of his best friends as she walked down the steps at Friedrichshain train station.
He stood at the window watching the rain and could feel it beating against the building opposite. He stood inside by the window and felt the outside within him, the drops of dihydrogen monoxide particles clashing with stone and glass and carved statues. How beautiful it all was.
Earlier in the ambulance he kept repeating: "I am a comedian. I am a comedian".
Now a man entered his room with equipment to take his blood pressure.
"It's still a little high, but not too much" the nurse said in broken German-accented English
Later on his girlfriend visited, she had brought his shoes, a change of clothes, and most importantly his glasses.
The man in the bed next to his didn't speak much, apparently he rarely left the room. He breathed deep and heavy and often groaned with what felt like anguish.
It seemed to him like he was controlling the weather, that he was the wind and rain, and how nice it was to be inside in the warm.
Once the doors had closed he felt an instant panic, as if he would finally be found out and never be able to leave. This convinced him that he would have to put on his best act at feigning normality, that actually he wasn't God trapped inside a human form talking to himself through other people but was simply another person having mental problems that could be overcome through admitting a temporary psychotic break.
Getting up for breakfast felt uncomfortable and embarrassing but for the sake of looking sane he decided it was best, to act as though eating and drinking coffee was an everyday occurrence whilst sitting with other caged beings in a private zoo for the unstable. Outside was grey and the morning mist made the river look uninviting. Would he be allowed out, he asked himself.
He hadn't realised that he would be required to attend the morning meeting, being unable to speak German he couldn't understand what the other patients were saying and he feared this would look bad on his release report. Being unable to communicate with others was surely a sign of reduced societal procedures was it not?
"He likes your shirt" said a man of his mid-twenties, referring to his whispering friend.
"He says it reminds him of penguins"
"It stands for war and peace, I think" he replied "it's a dove and a grenade"
At this moment he wished that his girlfriend had picked another t-shirt for him to wear
It was 10:30, the morning had dragged on like a funeral and he was sitting on a chair outside the office.
She announced his name with a question mark
When the doors had opened he wanted to say goodbye to the friends he had quickly made but felt too afraid to in case they suddenly changed their minds and decided that was a crazy thing to do. His roommate had left his room and he felt somewhat pleased with himself, maybe he had helped him in some small way, just by being accepting and saying a few words to him.
The smoking room was the conversation room and this was where he met the man who had been admitted so many times through drug abuse which amounted to self-abuse that he had now been kept in there for a month.
But he had friends that were visiting him today, he said.
The bench by the river was the place where he felt most free. There were empathised and possibly imagined feelings of guilt for being such a short-stayer, that he had somehow betrayed his fellow mates. Why, afterall, should HE be let out? He is obviously just as crazy as we are. Is it because he is English?
But still I was pleased to be outside.
His flight left in 4 days, he would've missed his friends wedding if he hadn't been let out. His girlfriend had been extremely kind to him for leaving the door open, laptops on the kitchen table, no note telling her where he had gone, and for ending up in the hospital. But all that was irrelevant now they had decided one month back that they were going to break up.
The next evening he met one of his best friends as she walked down the steps at Friedrichshain train station.
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