Saturday, 18th February 2023

Written sometime between 2012-2015

I knew it would soon be a memory
Looking out the window
After my blood-pressure had been taken
How the feeling of being the rain
Hitting the rooftop would soon fade
To purely an observation
I wanted to hold on to what I felt
And yet worried for my release
I always wondered if I were crazy
If I should be locked up
But I was an idiot
Because as soon as I was in
I wanted out
To be allowed to leave
I wasn't crazy
I knew that
Or was I?
I had to leave in 5 days
If I were crazy I wouldn't care, right?
So I was honest
Sober and honest
And nervous
But they had already made up their mind
I was to be free
And yet, how easy would it be
To say one thing
To give it away
That really you are not sure
But I guess it's Catch-22
And you never know
Who should be where

Saturday, 5th November 2022

Well I guess if we are on an alien-made farm for humans then I guess it's kinda hard to see a real way out of that. My personal stance is that death and being taken away from this earth is most likely not as bad as being stuck on this earth forever. Whether that is in the form of AI consciousness or physical spirit bodies.

Our bodies are our vessels for our souls to travel to distant stars at the speed of light, where time stands still, and your particle of light doesn't age. So even if it takes the equivelent of 1,000,000 light years it is as though no time has really passed at all, because you haven't aged and time hasn't changed.

This soul particle falls from the light as soon as it has an individual thought. This individual thought gives the particle of light the very tiniest of masses but a mass nonetheless. This mass begins to attract more and more matter and as this happens the particle becomes ever slower through time, heavier through space, and gaining mass like a galactic snowball.

Your soul drops into the nearest most habitiable evnvironment into the most intelligent host available, which has so far been the human body as far as we are aware but soon AI and quantum computers will be able to hold these space-traveling-souls also. A consciousness sucked into a machine, trapped inside as data on-repeat and mathematical code. 

So yes, if I can leave my body and be amongst the light particles again I would rather that than be alive forever on this earth

Sunday, 12th June 2022

Thought experiment on the future

2-tier society of the rich and the poor. Overall population will decrease and robots/AI will take over the jobs that historically the lower classes have performed. For those that can afford it there will be the hybrid humans that integrate AI into themselves effectively becoming a cyborg, and this race of people will oversee the robot/AI race, leaving the poorer humans in squalid conditions without any resources or healthcare etc, basically just a forgotten race of people left to fend for themselves.

The lower classes will be fed on lab-grown protein based food made at low cost with little nutritional value, whilst the richer classes will have the most luxurious and expensively produced products.

The cyborg race will feed off humans for transplants and blood with their aim being to live as long as possible, the lower classes will be grown in artifical wombs without family or traditional parents, taught to the most basic level of education and refused AI implants which would be kept for the cyborg class.

This class of people will be produced and kept at the optimal level of population, controlled by the cyborgs and robot class, kept in order with any dissent quickly snuffed out, Mass depopulation will be frequent as the revolutionary sectors of society are killed off and simly replaced with the artifically produced farm humans.

The lower classes uses will become more obsolete as robots take over their jobs, and as people need things to focus on so they don't become more disident their external reality will merge with the metaverse, keeping them occupied and numbed whilst simultaneously helping the AI to learn on a mass scale. These humans will effectively be billions or neural transmitters within the AI until there is no more left to learn from them. Once this happens there will be no real need for this class of people and they will be left to die out on their own gradually over a century or so. This will eventually leave the cyborg class, the robot class, and a relatively small farmed class, as well as a possible unconscious bio-material class which will be used for 'parts' for the cyborg class to remain as healthy as possible.

Friday, 12th November 2021

Fragmented thoughts - I've been reading alot at work lately as there has tended to be plenty of time to do so. Words to the Wise by Manly P Hall, I picked up a copy of Madame Blavatsky's biography and read a few pages, started work on Hamlets Mill where even though I've only read little more than the introduction it's been a wonder, that then got me onto looking into Isaac Netwons Papers by Sarah Dry, which then made me read a little of his Chronology. So there's a muddle of ideas and thoughts in my head right now. I may start to write posts more in a jagged form or fragments simply because I'm just stringing ideas together without really analysing them first.

Facebook > Meta - how geometric shapes come to mind, how the macro and micro are images of themselves. If we can witness the birth of a metaverse which people will no doubt begin to live in within the next decade or so, how can we relate that to our own current reality?
Have we forgotten the universe that lies outside of our current one like many will forget this one once conditioned to the metaverse?

I ask myself what is it that the company really wants? Because people who live within a computerised reality won't really be able to work and offer money, so it can't be financial. They also have focused on acquiring people's data for years now, so is it some kind of spirit draining entity, one that takes your mental energy, soul if you like, and is that the thing that it desires? 

Like the micro crystal to the snowflake, how do we compare and contrast that world with our current one? Have we been duped into a half-conscious sleep where we work, pay rent, eat, survive, and let our spirit and soul get sucked out of us. Is the metaverse a new solution for an old problem? People start to wake up so they must put us back to sleep again, create a new layer, another dimension, to make us forget who we really are. To make us weaker in the outside world. For surely once all power is placed in the hands of the few with the energy supply and the cloudspace, and we are all entrenched in living within that reality, that our bodies and mental faculties degrade in this current world. Which again makes me wonder what have we lost from the past that we are not even aware of. When you never had it you can't really miss it. However, I always have felt like I am missing something, something doesn't add up, doesn't feel right about this place. I'll keep searching and keep my eyes out, keep reading, keep trying to not go insane, and try to keep my shit together, not get too lonely, or sad, or angry, but to keep hope and to keep learning from the masters of old, to try an untangle parts of the riddle, all the time knowing it's all just a bit of a game really.

Saturday, 6th November 2021

I just want to say sorry to anyone I've ever hurt or upset. I know they most likely won't ever read this but there's the need to share it somewhere. I'm a person with many faults and I feel the weight of them every day, of every word I've ever said, every misunderstanding, every impulsive move I've ever made and their consquences. I've never seen myself as a malicious person and I don't wish any harm to anyone but the simple act of existing seems to create situations where I wished I had acted differently, to have known the things I know now, and to know the mistakes I will make in the future and to avoid them.
Call it mental illness, call it ignorance or lack of sense, call it whatever you feel it to be. I have no right to expect anything from anyone, any understanding or forgiveness. How people will see things and how I will see things will always have moments of disconnect. But that doesn't mean I don't feel the guilt and shame every day of wishing those people understood where I was coming from, and it doesn't change the fact that I wish I could express myself better and in more positive ways so they wouldn't feel those things in the first place.

I just want everyone to know that I'm sorry, and that if I could have never hurt anyone I would be so pleased, but I have, and I take full responsibility for it. There aren't excuses in this world really, but I always wish that I could do better